One Last

Tonight, I am missing you. They just sang Sanda Kozhi Kozhi. They are celebrating my new job, here at home. Geet, Mints, Ami, KJ and Sumi are all here. They threw me a surprise. It’s beautiful. The house is decorated with fairy lights. You know how much I love them, don’t you? I cannot tell you how overwhelmed I am. I love these buggers. It’s such a lovely evening. Yet, I miss you. I miss you in bits and pieces.

I was finding night clothes for Ami and I found your nightshirt hidden deep inside the closet. I know. I really do need to clean that wardrobe, huh? The nightshirt smelt of you. I must confess, I smelled it for one last time before I gave it to her. It’s been nine months since you left. Nine wonderful months. I have moved on and I am doing great but tonight, this “one last” memory feels just right.

I remember the last time I saw you. We were both crying. I squeezed you in my arms and said “You owe me one last kiss.” You giggled. “Make that two. Let’s save one for a rainy day!”  And you luxuriously placed your lips on mine.Your lips tasted of separation that day. We laughed while we cried. It was so bitter sweet. I can never forget that evening. The evening, we flew away from one another.

As beautiful and poetic that evening was, I cannot let it be our last kiss. Because tonight, I want the “last kiss.”

Tonight, I want to run through the mundane, with you. Tonight: I want to eat your chocolate chip pancakes. I want to dance to Elvis with you. I want to share my happiness with you. I want to feel your warmth. I want to hear you sing Sanda Kozhi Kozhi to me, while I make love to you. I want to share a blanket and a cigarette after. Then I want to hear those “Inappropriate for bed” jokes, laugh out, snuggle up and make love to you again.

Nine months later, tonight, I want you and everything that comes with you, for one last time. Oh, did I mention, its raining outside? Come to me, tonight. Kill me, just for a little bit. Konjam neram ennai kollaya.

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Sayuri - a small flower of Lilly, lover of languages. Advocate of sustainable and safe menstruation, co-founder of 'The Project Amara'. Fond of all the artistic things; flowers, poetry, stars, books and of course, her.

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