I hate that I wallow
That I bury my face into my hands
Slam the door behind me
And cry all day
I hate that my diary says
“Everyone falls in love
Then why is mine considered a sin
Do I deserve this diary
Because I can’t live through this pain”
I hate how my handwriting gets worse through each page,
As I write more everyday,
The letters look so crooked
And these words show how the fear consumes me
“I kissed her and pushed her away with fear
And she understood it by the way I trembled
I was up all night
I wanted to wrap myself in
My own arms
I was scared
But I picked up the next day right from where I left it
I pulled her close to me
And traced her back through my fingertips
Her eyes into my eyes
I could see them shine
My heart was beating as if I was living the last minute of my life
And if this had to be my last
I’d accept it in a heartbeat.”
I hate that I, that I’m not understood
But thats society I tell myself,
They don’t understand because they can’t see how love is
They won’t understand how my hand feels like it’s found home
Not at the touch of a boy they’ve been trying to find for me
But another girl
They won’t understand because they haven’t felt
The love of ten fingers twirled into one another
Holding on tight
But leaving each other in the fear of somebody seeing them
They don’t know how it is when her hand traces down my spine
They haven’t felt it you know
The beautiful feeling of this love
They don’t understand that
Love doesn’t mean that it starts from one gender and ends with the opposite one
It doesn’t because
Love is love,
It’s the bond,
It’s the feeling,
It’s the magic it creates
It’s the need and the want and the little and the big and the cute and the ugly
Love,
It’s the craving for her presence
And the separation that makes me shudder
LOVE,
it just happens
You know
So now, these palms
These palms don’t leave even if they sweat
And this love will stay
Even if this night dies
Because the power in being a woman and being loved by one
Is my strength
A woman’s love has fire
And you know what they say
When fire meets,
There is a spark,
And this spark,
It’s
our
love.