No one told me weddings were such terrible occasions
The grandiose stings my eyes like a fatal gold light
The smell of flowers tastes sour, bitter in the roof of my mouth
When did the thundering music start to feel like an ode
To that which I will never possess, a melody ringing
For the graveyard of my stars and hope
A graveyard of all my pulverised galaxies
A graveyard under construction
This wedding is a funeral, my skin yells
And the epitaph has my name spelt in bold
I feel like a sore thumb amidst this nauseous joy
Although I am dressed like the vivid flowers at the altar
My heart is shrouded in dripping black, in despair
Longing for something that stays just out of reach
When did the glass of my shy, tucked away, childish hope
Shatter into these murky waters, drowned and too lost
For me to swim across currents for
Maybe it was when my eyes locked with hers
The deciding moment, the final blow
And it was certain that my heart would never dislodge
From her fingertips, even if I scraped at it like a depraved woman
Maybe we were meant to lay here and watch
With snuffed-out light in our eyes, plead and pray at the pyre
For this storm to swallow us up too
A storm with sands as deep red as sindoor
We stand a chance too, if this terrible wind just blows over
Maybe if I tell myself that over and over, etch it into my brain
Erase her from the carvings on my walls for a single second
Maybe then weddings would stop feeling so damn bleak