Dude 1 was sweet, but unremarkable.

All Dude 2 wanted to talk about were his days on hard drugs.

Dude 3 was a self-made millionaire at 27. I had swiped on him just to see if he would swipe back. I made out with him. I figured that, if I didn’t like a tall, well-built, self-made millionaire, I would never like anyone else.

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Best Friend set me up with Dude 6. We worked in the same field and liked the same things. Dude 6 said looking at me was like looking into a mirror. He can dream, I guess!

I let Dude 7 do things. When he was doing things, I thought about other things like this article College Roommate shared with me about the evolutionary reasons behind sexual over asexual reproduction. When Dude 7 complained that I did not seem to be into it, I thought about Priyanka Chopra or Shobhita Dhulipala to get into the mood. But, even that often did not work.

Dudette 1 did not want to be ‘another straight woman’s box to tick’.

Dudette 2 was actually not Dudette 2. Catfishing was supposed to happen only to men on dating apps!

Dude 8 was a Friendly Colleague that asked me out. Friendly Colleague was conventionally cute-looking and ideal boyfriend material according to Flatmate. Being with Friendly Colleague took too much time.

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I moved back to my hometown because of the pandemic. Matched with Dude 11 and Dudette 5 on different apps. I’ve been on video dates with both of them, separately of course. Best Friend thinks I can’t possibly be in love with more than one person at a time. Flatmate thinks that maybe I am just not capable of love. I don’t know. Dude 11 and Dudette 5 do not ask for too much of my time, neither do they ask that I take off my clothes. I think I love them.