An Ongoing Conversation On Bisexuality & Asexuality : Part 2

[You can read Part 1 here ]

Who Are Bisexuals in Today’s Society?

Bisexual people have the capacity to love people of their same gender or of a different gender. This can include physical, sexual, and emotional attraction, and/or relationships. Over time in life, a bisexual person might feel attracted to men, women, transgender people, or to one gender in preference to the others. The strength of these attractions may change over time. Being bisexual does not define either one’s lifestyle or sexual behaviour, nor does it need to be 50/50.  Bisexual people can have a monogamous relationship, whether that happens to be same sex or opposite sex. They go through a lot of the same issues and doubts in relationships which any other couple gay or hetero have.

Many people are bisexual and bisexuality cuts across distinctions of race/ethnicity, gender identity, age, class, ability, and religious affiliation. You are not alone, and you are likely to meet bisexual people just about anywhere you go. It’s not a disease and you can’t tell when you walk past a bisexual individual. It is not the only thing that defines you.

Yet what does it mean to be bisexual in today’s society? You are often told that you are no longer part of the gay or straight community as you have an opposite sex partner and seen that you are only interested in ‘conforming’ to the social norms. Where’s the problem? Love is love regardless of gender or preference.

When I was in Bombay this October I spoke with the Gaysi Open Mic event, Dirty Talk organizers and they told me that out of the 300 people, that attended their last event in September, 50% of the crowd were heterosexual. This just shows how the new generation in the bigger cities are changing and are becoming more inclusive. Some of the people that attended the event told me that sexuality in general is a non-issue and that they don’t really care who you want to sleep with or not. This gave me great courage and hopefulness for the next generation that wants to come out and live their lives for who they really are or want to be.

Determining your sexuality can be highly confusing. Teenagers often feel a lot of pressure to choose to define themselves as being heterosexual or homosexual. You might feel that you do not fit either of these categories, and you may notice that you are ‘turned on’ and have sexual feelings about people of your own gender and another gender. These feelings may indicate you could identify as bisexual. Keep in mind, however, that you do not have to prove you are bisexual. There is no test for this that will define your status.

A bisexual person may have one committed relationship that lasts for decades. Many bisexual people have no sexual relationships or have these relationships with people of only one gender; yet they still consider themselves bisexual. Some people have relationships with people of their own and of another gender, yet do not identify as bisexual. It all comes down to what makes you feel most comfortable and what you perceive yourself to be. Don’t worry about not knowing for sure. Sexuality develops over time, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to identify in any particular way.


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Pink Freud is a counselling psychotherapist in training. He currently sees therapy clients part time and manages a large team in a corporate environment when he is not 'in the therapist's chair'. Long term, he wants to specialise in working with LGBT individuals, couples and groups. As a gay man, who came out 10 years ago, he understands the unique struggles of the LGBT community and is here to help. You can e-mail your questions to and he will respond to you via the Gaysi Family website.
Pink Freud

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