(Excerpts from a conversation with a former friend. All characters mentioned are absolutely not fictitious. Any resemblance is very much intentional.)

Mansi, what do you mean when you say you’re bisexual?
What do you mean, ‘what do I mean?

What does anyone mean when they say they’re bisexual?
Well, it means the individual is attracted to both women and men.

Attracted, like emotionally or sexually?
Whichever way the individual deems fit.

Odd. Okay. So, which do you prefer more? Men or women?
I like them both, equally.

No, like, which do you actually prefer in the long run? Dicks or vaginas?
These questions aren’t very educated, are they?

Please. The only thing ‘uneducated’ is your stupid whim to be referred to as a bisexual. It’s just a way of attracting attention. Like right now.
Believe me, if I knew this was the kind of attention I would attract, I would’ve declared the closet my permanent home.

Nonsense! The closet. Pssh. Tell me something Mansi, are you doing this because you are greedy?
I don’t follow.

You know, you want it all. The attainable and otherwise.
If by that you mean men and women, then no. That’s not why.

I mean come on, it is understandable. If you strike out with one, you want the other option.
I assure you, that’s not it. I think there’s something beautiful about both men and women, their personalities, the way they smile, the way their eyes–

Okay please stop. I know what this is about.
You know, I’m going to regret saying this oh-so-much. But do tell.

It’s about committing to one person that makes you uncomfortable, isn’t it? A cheater. That’s what you are.
A cheater? How does that figure into me liking men and women?

Well, you don’t want to stay in one relationship with just one person forever. So, you want to cheat and move on to the next person as soon as you’re done boning the first one.
Okay… First of all, I think you might be confusing polyamory with bisexuality. They’re different things. I’d be happy to sit you down and explain the difference to you. Secondly, I am not ‘boning’ and leaving anyone. If I do have feelings for someone, it’s because they amaze me. If they amaze you, why would I feel the need to leave?

Polyamory? Okay, now you’re just throwing words at me, aren’t you?
Nope. Polyamory is a term. I’m polyamorous. It means I have emotional and physical feelings for more than one individual in a relationship.

That’s definitely called cheating. God, how did we become friends??
Some days, that’s all I think about. And it’s not cheating. It’s consensual. All the people involved are aware of the situation and agree to it.

This new age bullshit is shaming the concept of marriage.
Actually, there are polyamorous relationships that are of a marital nature.

Hallelujah. What are you going to tell your parents? They’ll be ashamed of you forever, you know.
Me liking men or women, or me wanting to love more than one individual is my business. I have spent enough time belittling my needs and wants. I am not going to waste any more time doing that or thinking about what the world thinks of me.

Why don’t you just admit it? You want it all, you are greedy, and you want to be the centre of attention.
Okay, let’s switch this around a bit. You’re straight, right?

Yes, I’m normal, thank you very much.
That’s not what I said, but okay. You’re straight. So, you like men, right?

Yes. Only men.
Okay.

….and?
Oh, nothing. That’s your orientation. I have no business lurking around in your business now, do I?

…?
No further questions. Thanks. Good talk. 🙂