Coming Out To Papa

I had always envisioned the scenario how it would be when I would come out to my family, If I ever decided to. I think I will when I’m a bit more settled, especially after I have a stable job and I’m more at ease with my sexuality and maybe when I’m absolutely sure of what I wanted in life. It was that time. I still didn’t know what I wanted, but I had a job, and I knew my sexual orientation for sure, so what was I waiting for? The ‘right time’ ? There’s no such thing. I realized that I could keep making excuses and pushing the date or I could just be honest.

I took my father out for dinner. We ordered some appetizers, I was going to tell him right away. No, I needed more time! What if he walks away? I took five long breaths. By now we had finished off our main course. I had to tell him now! It’s now or never. I knew I would delay this moment for months, maybe years if I didn’t tell him today. So I said to him, ”I have to talk to you about something. Don’t get angry, and you may not believe me when I say this, but it’s true, I am gay!” 

He smiled at my awkwardness and said, ”Okay, why would I be angry?”

“It’s okay” he said trying to process the words I had just blurted out.

”Does your sister know?” 

”Yes Papa, she has known for a while now. And I wanted to tell you this because we have always been honest and spoken about things with each other. I couldn’t keep this from you anymore.” 

We moved on to other topics and he tried to make me (or himself) feel at ease with a joke, ”An American, An Indian and An Italian walked into a bar…”

We finished our meal and then he left. I guess he needed more time to say anything further. The next day he sent me a message telling me how proud he was of me, for being courageous and honest. He even went on to say that he is not one bit ashamed or apprehensive and doesn’t mind telling people and being open about this if I were okay with that. He told me that he would like to celebrate my marriage just like we had for my sister, if I ever chose to make it formal with my partner. Since that day, me and my dad have been more clear with one another, more honest and at ease. I guess he sees me as a grown up now, he sees me taking care of myself, and trying to be good and honest. I’m still the same girl he brought up, marriage or not, gay or straight.

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Loves music, long conversations, travelling, jackets, and Mumbai. Ardent dog lover, has a playlist for every mood. Loves discovering new music. Occasionally reads books.
Ice Woman

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