Falling in love with your best-friend could easily be deemed as either the best or the worst situation, respectively. But the added fact that your best-friend is a ‘boy’ leaves a much higher probability for you to fall in the latter scenario when you, yourself are a ‘BOY’ too! Yes. You read that right. If you too find yourself relating to the circumstance above like me…. You’re probably just as ‘GAY’ as me! (cheers?). As you’ve probably guessed by now, I’ve got more than ninety-nine problems and *BEING IN LOVE WITH MY BEST-FRIEND* is definitely one!!!
Yikes? (Oh and before I forget to scream it out loud to all those delusional hypocrites out there that… ‘BEING QUEER’ never was, never is and never will be the issue!) I hope we all start to realise and accept the fact that we all are born as different individuals, who are highly capable of loving another in ways that aren’t specifically ‘conventional’. Yet we must understand that even those unconventional ways are just valid as the conventional ones.
Okay. Coming back to my dilemma, which I know is annoyingly cliché like a LOT OF HETEROSEXUAL ROMANTIC FLICKS! Except the fact I’m undoubtedly GAY for my best-friend. Period.
So please believe me when I confess this, that being in love with your best-friend is absolutely exhausting! It is also a hell lot of painful when you know that the ‘closeted love you have for your bestie’ is probably unrequited. And that’s highly relatable to my case.
It’s like I’m given all these desirable opportunities to be with him yet I’m not really ‘with him’ in the way I want to.
Do you know how devastating it feels to be the one who has known him since forever yet I’m forbade to be in that ‘forever’ with him? Do you know how agonising it is in the end to realise that he will never be truly yours? Trust me, I know.
I know that in the end he’ll hold her hands and not mine.
I know that in the end he’ll look into her eyes and smile.
I know that in the end he’ll let his lips taste her lips and not mine.
I know that in the end he’ll pour his soul into her and not mine.
I know that in the end he’ll fall in love with her in the way I’d always wanted him to fall for me.
But I also know that it’s okay. It’s okay. And maybe I’ll just keep repeating this mantra until the day it’ll finally become ‘okay’.
‘Falling in love with your best-friend’ has its own set of merits and demerits.
At least for now, I’ll only focus on the brighter side of falling in love with him.
At least for now, I know that she hasn’t learnt about the reason why he prefers to put his watch on his right wrist.
At least for now, I know that she isn’t aware of his obsession with ‘Young Daniel Radcliffe’.
At least for now, I know that she’s quite oblivious of his habit to sing himself to sleep.
At least for now, I know that she cannot comprehend his horrible sense of humour like me.
At least for now, I know that she hasn’t seen him crying over any Disney movie.
At least for now, I know that she hasn’t fallen so damn hard for him, like I did.
At least for now, I know that in some parallel universe, he is just as mine as I am his.
At least for now, that’s all I wish.