Food For Your Gay Thoughts

Queerness is all about evolution.

It’s only a theory, and as preposterous as it may sound, just indulge me here for a while, alright? Let me ramble on and see where this takes us.

So, to set the premise for this argument, let me clarify what Evolution means to me. One: The changes that gradually occur over the years are not merely biological in nature; they’re intellectual and emotional as well. Two: The changes occur so that we can adapt as efficiently as possible to an environment that never remains the same.

Given these two facts (or assumptions, for those who disagree), let’s get into why it’s considered natural for a man and a woman to pair up. Men and women are physically and mentally very different, obviously. Their respective strength, traits, and emotional sensitivity, I dare say, are almost polar opposites. Men, being physically stronger and faster, were suited more for hunting and protecting. Women, being gentler and physically weaker, were more suited to the tasks of nurturing and caring. Since sinfully luxurious couches, merciful ACs, and miracle drugs are modern day inventions, suffice to say, our ancestors’ living conditions and quality of life were rather poor. And that might be putting it very mildly. They were forever battling it out, be it with forces of nature, or wild animals, or one another.

Now, the urge to survive is something that we’re all familiar with, right? It’s intrinsic to all of us, and it’s something that has remained constant over the years. Survival, back then, had more to do with overcoming the obstacles your physical environment threw at you than your internal state of being. And to do this, you had to have both sets of attributes: the one that was unique to men and the one that only women were blessed with. Ergo, driven by this need to survive, it seems only natural that a man and a woman would “hook up”, so to speak.

Over time, things have undoubtedly and inevitably changed. Yes, it’s true that we’re often at odds with each other even now (and maybe that will never change). But the reasons that make us scream bloody murder today are very different from the ones that made us rage ages ago. Life is cushier and safer than it has ever been, and is getting even more so. We have our medicines to ward off diseases, and homes to shelter us from nature’s wrath. We’ve learnt to domesticate the animals that are useful to us, and keep the wild ones at safe distance. Life is beautiful. Well, almost.

As our external environment gets more comfortable, our bodies are changing less drastically. We’re no longer looking for someone who can help us survive physically. That kind of survival is no longer a task. Maintaining an inner equilibrium and surviving in the environment our minds create for us have become our priorities. As we turn inwards and focus more on ourselves, we seek emotional and intellectual stimulation, and compatibility. With our minds evolving more rapidly than our bodies, the meaning that pleasure and companionship hold for us is undergoing a transformation. And this creates a desire in us to be with people who will get our grey matter firing.

The thing is, when you begin to worry less about being physically secure and focus more on being intellectually stimulated, you open up a range of possibilities when it comes to the person you can be with. This doesn’t mean that people of the opposite gender can’t be or aren’t intellectually stimulating. Or that straight people don’t look for intellectual stimulation. What I simply mean to say is that, when what you look for in a partner begins to change, you begin to give yourself the freedom to choose. And I think, that’s the precise moment when Queerness is born.


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Lady Jughead lives and writes in the city she loves and hates, Bombay. Without meaning to and harbouring mixed feelings about it (You’ll see the irony in just a bit), she’s forever wandering in the murkiness that exists between straight and gay, clear and clueless, butch and femme, cute and hot, and genius and insane. All of which leave her with a question that often occupies a significant portion of her cognitive capacity – is she Just Perfect or is she falling fast into the deep chasm of obscurity called Just Average?
Lady Jughead

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