“I’m all worried about you? What will happen after I’m gone?” said my mum after she has settled down with my coming out. Honestly, her worry, despite me being gay, is I shouldn’t be all alone for the rest of my life. She added, “If you want to be with a guy, I’ve got no problem. Find someone and settle down.” Her words touched me. I can co-relate to her worries. However, is this even possible to find a partner in India through any agency? I don’t think so.
In 2018, I came across an ad of an agency on Facebook. They claimed to help find partners for the homosexual community in India. Their impressive portfolio of a year and golden words made me believe that there is actually something like this and it is possible. I wrote back to them and soon after the call with the agency’s owner, I enrolled for their service. I was excited as I finally had hoped to find someone beyond the usual networking platforms, where most people are looking for everything beyond a relationship.
The journey started fine with me getting some profiles and nodding positively to them. However, after months when despite okaying the profiles, there was no progress, I started to get furious. There was a small doubt, yet I decided to expand the area and went international with my search. Still, the result was negative. Over the months, I lost hope and followed-up every 2-months hoping for some progress. My dreams shattered when the video by Vice came out. It demonstrated everything that I personally went through.
This made me question, are there people actually willing to help you find a partner or are they preying on your emotional need? Well, something happened as an outcome of the video that answered my question. There were some profiles on Instagram advertising how they can help you find ‘the one’ we all have been looking for. Some with a similar model, some by advertising your profile on their profile in the minimal cost and some by creating a repository of the profile so that you can choose to interact with the ones you find attractive. In simple words, promising that they will help and selling you a dream that one day you will.
An arranged gay marriage in India not yet heard off in India, at least not to me. With a long list of do’s and don’ts, and expectations in a person, settling down with someone through the age-old arranged marriage seems a distant dream to me. There are people, like me, who are not ready to die alone. Who wants to come home to be with someone they dearly love. They have been dreaming of a life partner for ages and are trying to working hard to find someone in the conservative society, where homosexuality is still considered a taboo. These dreams are been sold to us, the loners.
After what happened to me recently, the result I got for trusting someone for 2-years and holding on to the hope to find a life partner, I’ve come to one permanent conclusion – there are people who’re eyeing on your emotional weakness and will not think twice before making the making out of it. There are people who can go to any extent just so they can maintain their bank balance. There are people who might sound genuine and an ally, but would be the one to sell off your dream to have a luxury life.
To have a marriage agency in India catering to the community and helping them find a partner seem like a dream to me, at least in the near future. It is either you’re being ‘atmanirbhar’ and finding a partner by kissing endless frogs yourself, or just wait for your close friend to be cupid and hitch you up with someone they know. Waiting for family or friend to place an advertisement in the ‘Matrimonial’ column in the newspaper or an authentic agency to share the profiles of prospects without any hidden agenda is just a dream. Don’t fall for anyone where the money is involved or who talk big. I’ve gone through a rough patch of trusting and losing the money, I surely won’t want others to go through the same pain.