I Was Sexually Assaulted In Broad Daylight

Today, I went to attend a GLBT event near my home. The venue was five minutes away, like you walk down the lane and its there. Near that venue, there’s a lane with chawls (lane of poor houses).

It was a beautiful day. I was wearing a vest and my leggings for the event. I attended one event and in the break, I went with my friend to get some cigarettes. The only cigarette shop nearby was in that chawl lane.

It was middle of the day. On my way back, a drunken guy from the chawls bumped into me with the wrong intention and he touched my penis. Because of my natural instincts, I slapped him. What would have you done my dear people of government?

Next thing I know a bunch of guys were pulling my hair, kicking me on my balls, punching me on my nose, face, hitting me with the stool, bamboo sticks. My clothes were torn in the middle of the road.

I was sexually abused and thrashed. I was called hijra, chhakka (a derogatory term for hijras) and various other invectives. I have scars all over my body and I’m internally injured. This is just to say about physical injury. Psychological wounds go deeper.

My friend ran to bring others from the venue. By that time, there was only one girl from the chawl and a guy who took me away. When the people from the venue came, they took me away. I wished them dead. I wished them to suffer their whole life. My anger and hurt was looking for an outlet in this hetero-normative, patriarchal and evil societal set up.

What else I could have done? Gone to a doctor where they would have asked me to lodge a police complain. Police would have taken them to prison, kept them there for a day and then would have let them go. These guys have been going to jail very often and they do not really care about that (as told by that girl).

What is judiciary doing for us? Leaving the people free in a day who sexually abuse and thrash another guy for being who he wants to be but putting the people behind jail for lifetime with no release, if that person has consensual sex with another person of the same sex (technically, that’s what the law is about).

Is this fair? What’s my fault? I was dressed slutty? Is it not rape that my clothes were torn in the middle of the road? What’s the difference between a girl’s clothes getting torn and man’s clothes getting torn? Just that man do not have breast?
How long will the government or society will be hell bent on telling us that what we have suffered is our fault? What is it that the government is doing to ensure security for everyone? Still so many women are raped, molested and abused but what do we do?

I did not go to lodge a complaint because my house was nearby. I am living on rent and those people will get released next day and they will make my as well as my landlady’s life hell. I will keep shut because judiciary CANNOT ensure the security of my life or others’ lives. Their duty is to file the complaint for your heart’s satisfaction, put them in prison so that you feel better and then leave them. There is no real justice.

In short, its better to keep your mouth shut than to speak up. That’s what you all have taught us and implemented all the time. Till when are we going to live this muffled existence? A girl got raped and killed, people protested, lit some candles for her, rapists got punishment because it was a media sensation and everything is over thereafter. Women are still getting raped. No permanent resolution was achieved.

Sexual harassment against women are still going unreported forget about men. In India, men do not get raped according to people. Its not about me right now, or Nirbhaya (the Delhi rape case), its about everyone.

Till when will we live in this anarchy? What strict actions have been taken to ensure in such cases? A woman’s rape case gets the hype by the media, how many guys like me have suffered and have been suffering. What justice can we expect and will social media create noise in our favour?

Forget justice, once it is done, prior forget. What examples have we set? What security do we have? Keep your sympathies with yourself, for I have been bruised today, tomorrow I will put on my makeup and hide all my scars. I’ll sing and dance and leave this behind me.

If you really empathize, spread the information about it. Don’t stop till we have a concrete solution. Let the word and the pain reach out to the judiciary, to the law enforcement team, to the government.

If you don’t give a damn, continue with your life till you or someone in your family has to suffer the same fate. And if that’s what it takes for you to open your eyes and speak up, then I pray you suffer the same fate.

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22, androgynous, social activist, blogger, animation lover, aspiring photographer and spiritualist.

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