A comforting letter to my younger self,
Hello, I am here to tell you something; sorry for invading your personal space. I should have informed you beforehand about my visit and this letter.
See, I am learning and evolving because of you, and I want to take a moment to appreciate you. I know you are struggling somewhere still, inside the confined spaces of your imaginations, but know this, I see you. I am witnessing all the scars you bravely took to love people, please them, and express your pretended best self for their acceptance.
I know it is hurtful. I know you have been feeling this pain for a very long time. I know it through my own core because I still carry it inside me. But listen, it is nowhere a burden. As a mark of revolution, we carry it as resistance. As living proof that you have had your lessons, teachings from the people. And now you have walked ahead a long way. You have shed every unhealthy bearing of people. You have made room for me to learn and grow into someone who knows kindness more dearly.
I am not sure if I should say this, but for you, I always take a stroll at the places that had haunted us when he left. I know they are places you hold very dear, and for only that, I visit them sometimes. But you know the best thing about visiting them? I don’t feel sad or anxious. I walk on the same road where you have smelled him and I keep falling for him more and more.
Everything from the memories you have of these places has changed a lot. And so have you; you have become me, and I am sorry to tell you, but I can’t become you. I can’t go back to being you because you believed in a love that didn’t even love you back. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but you were the most patient person I had ever met, I am in awe of you, but frankly, I have become someone who wants to believe in not years, but in moments. In the ongoing present and people’s actions, and not their mere, hollow words.
You have made me this, you have changed me, people have forced you to shed the sorrow and be open to the serene side of life. I am thankful to you for not letting people down you and putting you in the shell. I am glad I got the chance to breathe.
I will write to you soon, again. Until then, I hope you live inside me, with peace and acceptance.
With loads of love,
From my elder self.