Musings Of A Desi Lesbian

Artwork by Ayushi Mehra

To my father:
I’m sorry
For my condition
I’m sorry
I’m not well
You sought solace in my safety
Like you were my shield of armour
You said it made u feel at ease
So I said I would stop
But I kept everything in capsules inside my heart
So since that day
All I’ve ever done is cry
But believe me when I tell u
All I ever did was try

To the world:
I am a shell of what’s left of me
I’m not who I used to be
So if you run into the girl I was
Don’t hesitate to tell her, her cause
Give her kindness and give her love
Before she disappears above
And becomes another constellation in the sky
Save her before she is to die
So god if you’re up there
It’s time to bring me home
I begged you for less pain
But you only put burden on my soul
(This is about how much burden I’ve had to endure due to me being a lesbian and how much I’ve changed whether that’s for the worse or better)

To my love:
I’m not too good at this love thing
I’m not too good at love
Sometimes relationships scare me
Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough
But the truth is
You’ve got the key
The key to my heart
And whether you found it on the ground
Or it somehow just came around
I’m glad you’re the one who found it
I’m glad you’re the one
Your words put me at ease
And your face lights up my world
With your pretty hair and plump lips
Your stunning eyes and your beautiful hips
I’m forever in awe of your beauty
I’m forever in awe
So thank you for putting up with my broken soul
I won’t promise to be perfect
But I promise to try my best
To love you like the sky loves the ocean
And to never give up that devotion

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