Pride Month is a time of celebration, activism, and community-building for the queer community. Content curators, artists, and entrepreneurs within the LGBTQ+ space invest countless hours throughout the year in organizing events, fostering representation, and creating safe spaces. While Pride Month brings excitement and visibility, it also demands a significant amount of physical and emotional labour. As the month-long festivities come to a close, it becomes crucial for queer individuals and businesses to take time for themselves, to rest, recharge, and reflect. In this article, I delve into the concept of “queer rest” by listening to the experiences and insights of three individuals who have played essential roles in curating events and promoting queer art and business.

Juggling Queer Events Throughout the Year

For Inder Vhatwar, an entrepreneur and LGBTQI event organizer, Pride Month is just a part of their year-round commitment to organizing queer events. From hosting multiple parties every week to collaborating with various venues, the demands can be overwhelming. “What happens during Pride month is that we get calls from other brands that might not be involved in LGBTQ events otherwise, and so there is a larger number of events during that one month, but we are busy throughout the year,” he says.

Over the course of 12 years in this space, he has seen the number of events increase multifold. “Now, every 2nd venue wants an LGBTQ+ party. They will connect with us, or their clients who might be LGBTQ+. The problem is that when we organize, there is a pattern. Having done this many times, there is an order to things, but when they don’t reach out to organizers, it is not done as well. Sometimes, the staff might not be sensitized as well, which can lead to issues,” he shares.

This has disrupted any chance for rest for Inder. “The different event curators divide our weekends and venues so we are coordinated. This ensures that the events are not all happening simultaneously and ensures that the events see enough crowds,” he explains. This also means they must constantly be planning and thinking about what to do next.

Inder, along with their partner, rarely finds time to take a proper holiday due to their contrasting work schedules. “I work weekends, and he has weekends off. I work late nights, which takes a toll on my health, but I have to keep going,” he shares.

The absence of designated queer spaces on weekends drives them to continuously create and curate events, even when they yearn for a break. “There are not many pubs or clubs specifically for us. So we have to keep making those spaces- we have to create that space on weekends. When nothing is happening, we get so many calls, asking what they can do. So, it’s our duty to keep options open,” he explains.

Queer rest, for Inder, if he were able to make space and time for it, entails a simple desire – to be fully present in the company of loved ones, without the weight of constant responsibilities. “I want to go out somewhere, where I am not looking at my phone, with my partner, and close friends, and just catch up and connect with them,” he adds.

Fostering a Restful and Supportive Collective

As an artist and part of a queer artist collective called Stale Rumours, Koshy Brahmatmaj understands the importance of community support in practicing queer rest. “In a more theoretical or philosophical sense, queer rest is all about community and I see that between my friends and me. We communicate when we are tired or can’t do things, and because we are a collective, there is somebody to help, to have your back, and that allows that opportunity to take some time to rest and recover,” she explains.

She also adds that in a more practical sense, queer rest might look a little different. For her, queer rest involves a period of disengagement from socialising and social media. “After all the socializing that goes into being involved in participating in events, I run out of social battery. So, for a week, I need to recuperate. I will not talk to anyone, check social media, or even respond to messages,” she shares. Dealing with chronic illness, rest is a big part of her life, and it is something she ensures she makes time for. “I turn to K-dramas and SRK music videos. I am not an active person. If I had to choose between staying in bed or dancing, I will choose the former but there is strangely something about Chaiyya Chaiyya that makes me want to get up and dance, and it helps me relax,” she shares. Hula-hooping and embroidery, which also happen to be her source of bread and butter, help her relax, she adds.

However, the pressure of capitalizing on Pride Month for financial gain sometimes pushes them into overworking. “We run a small business, so there is financial pressure, and the pop-ups are where we make money. We have one month when people remember queers exist, and to get an opportunity another time during the year will be hard. I find myself overworking and I have to have a conversation with myself and remind myself that while I am tired, I need the money,” she shares.

How does she keep herself going? “I like monsoons. I dream of visiting Kanheri Caves. I plan for it. I tend to go by myself and have a day of revisiting my childhood and experiencing monsoon,” she says. However, she adds that she makes it a point to not get to the point of burnout. “I do have to force myself to stop sometimes. You need the energy to rest as well. If you are burnt out, you are recovering and not resting, and I want to be resting and not be in a space where I am constantly recovering from something,” she says.

They emphasize the importance of creating more equitable opportunities for queer artists throughout the year, which would alleviate the pressure during Pride Month. “Giving queer artists the same opportunities across the year, I think, would make June less pressuring,” she shares. Additionally, people who organize events should have better skills. “A lot of things tend to happen last minute, because of which the environment tends to be less accommodating. I was set up pop-ups in venues with no proper ventilation, which takes a huge toll on you,” she adds.

Prioritizing Self-Care for their Queer-Owned Business

Utkarsh and Syed, the co-founders of Cosmic Jalebi, a queer-owned business, experience the intensity of Pride Month both emotionally and operationally. The influx of opportunities and demands forces them to prioritize themselves and their well-being, even if it means saying no to certain events. “This year, it took us a lot of time to recover. All the opportunities were bombarded at once, and we had to say no to a few because it was not physically possible to do so. But, we still travelled and participated in events back-to-back. As a result, we even fell sick,” explains Utkarsh.

“It is important to take time, rest, and listen to our bodies. We have made it a point to listen to our bodies and nourish ourselves. As a small business, we don’t have a team working behind the scenes, or the structure in place to take on the operational and logistical aspects of handling multiple events in multiple cities. We have had to give up on sleep and worked overtime to get stocks ready this year,” says Syed.

So they decided to take a break of a few weeks this year, even if it meant not taking up some events and orders. The rest period has involved unplugging and taking a break from everything that causes stress, even social media. “We watched a lot of Netflix, read, played video games, cooked, and also made some time to discuss the big picture and future plans for the business, which we don’t really get to do when we are involved in the day-to-day,” they share.

While the acceptance of their audience enables them to be open about their rest periods, they acknowledge that marketplace platforms do not always allow for flexibility. “If we don’t dispatch orders within a certain number of days, we get penalized. So even during our break, we had to work for a couple of hours to ensure that Amazon orders were being shipped,” they share.

They call for a better distribution of events and opportunities throughout the year, reducing the pressure of an intense, condensed period. “The majority of small businesses like us, sell online, and we are not set up for such volatile offline events. We get called for events that happen in a span of 2-3 days, or even the same day. We have spoken to many biz owners, and they all share the sentiment of feeling bombarded in such a small period of time,” they share.

Doing things in a rushed manner makes it difficult to take full advantage of the opportunities. “These events should be more spaced out across the year. Besides multiple small events across the year would allow for better exposure, for both venues and artists,” they add.

The journey of queer rest is not just an individual endeavor but a collective responsibility. As Pride Month approaches, it is essential to acknowledge the efforts and sacrifices made by queer content curators, artists, and entrepreneurs throughout the year. By fostering a supportive community, recognizing the need for self-care, and advocating for better opportunities, we can build a more sustainable and inclusive future for queer individuals and businesses alike. As we continue to celebrate and uplift queer voices, let us also commit to nurturing their resilience through the power of rest.

Rejuvenate, Heal & Recharge

Ankur Bhatnagar, who curates queer events in Bengaluru, sees queer rest as a way to create space for themselves and others in the queer community to “rejuvenate, heal, and recharge after facing discrimination and challenges.” For Ankur, queer rest is all about fostering an environment where everyone feels safe, supported, and free to be their authentic selves.

After Pride Month, relaxation involves taking time to unwind, reflecting on the events, and prioritizing self-care. “Making space for relaxation means disconnecting from work-related stress, engaging in activities that bring joy, and spending quality time with loved ones, including our pet dogs,” he shares.

However, it is always easier said than done. One of the biggest roadblocks they face in this effort is societal expectations, discrimination, and the pressure to constantly be visible or prove their worth. A few ways to get past these hurdles, he says, is prioritizing self-compassion, setting boundaries with those who exploit the queer community for profit, and fostering genuine partnerships with brands and companies that truly support the community’s well-being and advancement.

Feeling Safe & At Peace

Queer performer and dancer Musiq say that queer rest means being able to feel “safe and at peace doing whatever they want to do without worrying about performing, masking, socializing, or social media-ing.”

After a month like Pride, resting, for Shraddha, involves taking a lot of naps, catching up with loved ones, staying indoors and cooking, spending time with their cats, going out dancing, as well as spending time with partners and friends. “As a performer and artist, it can be demanding, such that there aren’t clear days off. When I book a project, I have to prepare for it as well. I also work as a product designer, and that takes up a lot of my time, so it can be difficult to decompress after Pride,” they add.

Creating boundaries around their schedule, they say, has been helpful in their attempts to ensure that they allow themselves the time and space to rest and recover. “Working out flexible timelines while collaborating with folks or passing on a project if/when I’m able to, as well as communicating with friends and family (chosen or otherwise) about how much energy you have,” are some of the suggestions they have for those unable to make that space for themselves. This, they add, ensures that you feel supported and cared for and not isolated during a time when you need to recuperate and restore yourself.