Queer Wedding Alert!: Alissa And Aveena

May 13th, 2020

Written By Guest Author

We met on Bumble in October 2017. Alissa took great care in writing her profile description; Aveena didn’t write anything and later revealed she didn’t even read Alissa’s profile. Luckily Aveena messaged Alissa as soon as they matched and wasted no time in asking her out.

Our first date was a dinner that lasted 3.5 hours; we were both amazed by how easily the conversation flowed and that our interests, values, and humour aligned so well. Having lived with girlfriends before, Alissa told Aveena she didn’t want to move in with another partner unless they were engaged, which Aveena supported. But then we found an apartment in January 2018 and had to move quickly on it. Aveena had a very serious conversation with Alissa about how it looked like they would have to move in together before being officially engaged. Alissa was disappointed but understanding, not wanting to rush it. All along, Aveena planned on proposing before they moved in together, making the proposal a complete shock to Alissa.

We wanted our wedding to feel modern and romantic, with touches of Aveena’s Indian culture. The venue is industrial-inspired with wood textures and high, exposed beam ceilings, and we added plenty of flowers and candles to ensure the space felt intimate and warm. Two days before the wedding, we held a Mehndi [henna] party and invited all the women in our lives. We both wore lehengas, and our guests were so excited to participate in some of the traditional aspects of Indian weddings, including henna, Indian food, etc. Our wedding day was beautiful from beginning to end. We were very intentional about how we wanted to spend our time and what we wanted our wedding to look like, and it came together better than we could have ever expected.

Alissa’s favorite moment was really the entirety of the ceremony. She was so nervous walking down the aisle and could barely look at Aveena for more than a few seconds at a time because she was worried about crying [and she really can’t talk when she’s crying, which would make the vows hard]. All the same, when we did lock eyes, it was such an intense, intimate feeling despite being surrounded by so many people. Aveena’s favorite moment was when our officiant pronounced us married, and we kissed as wives with everyone cheering. She describes it as a moment of resolve following all the oppression she felt growing up as an LGBTQ+ person in a conservative community. As the judgment and homophobia from people in our lives only intensified leading up to our wedding, it was wonderful to feel like that fight was over, and we could celebrate our new family with joy.