Growing up as a brown bi-kid in the small town of Shimla, love never came the easy way to me. Having studied in an all girls Catholic school you can understand why. Moreover my first “fall” for a girl instead of a boy didn’t make it any easier. I grew around parents who believed – love isn’t always about expressing or showing but rather understanding and just being there for one another — so apparently I couldn’t ever say that the first time I understood love was through seeing my parents.
Instead the first time I felt those butterflies in my stomach was when she held the hand of my 12yr old self, smiled and we ran across the school ground laughing like two crackheads, when each time she looked back my heart skipped a beat, when she lent me her cardigan because I was cold and it smelled like “home”, when she took punishments on my behalf after lending me her book and my heart felt like it would explode, when every time I was low she’d know, when her hugs were enough to make me forget the pain. SHE — taught me love, moreover made me realize my true self more than anybody ever could. She offered me her friendship and I wanted to offer her all my love and we both met in the middle ground like dawn before the night crept in.
After this next few years were a series of self exploration from – I kissed a girl and I liked it to I kissed a boy and I also liked it — the hardest part of the journey was embracing my bi-kinda-love and the fact that is how love is supposed to be your-own-kinda. There is no right or wrong kind when it comes to love only your own kind. It’s the most beautiful and fluid emotion that a person can ever experience and it’s a pity how many people burnt out the flames of their love thinking —log kya kahenge? My only want is to embrace your kind of love before you burn out completely and remember no age, no gender, no race, no color, no status, no boundaries can ever limit your way of loving. Own it, embrace it and proudly face it for no matter what the world or society may tell you, you deserve every bit of your-kinda love.