The Elusive Unicorn That Is Lesbian Style

We are beings of an era where gay marriage, gay concentration camps, president Trump, the blazing gayness of Kristen Stewart and section 377 exists in our very own beloved nation, at the same time akin to a truly disastrous game of Chinese Whisper at an awful party (whothefuckplayschinesewhisperanymore) after which we all return to our homes resigned to the realisation that this is the strangest time of them all.

Regardless, we queer people of this rather disorienting generation are much grateful for we simply don’t know how to stop all the gay from showing everywhere, and more and more of our fellow beings have made peace with the fact that Kristen Stewart has set her eyes on the vast and very gay dating pool that Hollywood has to offer whilst her rolled up denim and vans effectively raise the middle finger in a Tarantinoesque effect to the high school bitchfest of the tabloids.

As I approach closer and closer to the true loci of this article i.e. the elusive unicorn that is lesbian style, all I can sense with my gaydar is the cool gay Kristen Stewart and I am rewarded for my great faith with irreversible evidence to this fact.

So, how did I know? There lies the true question and one glance at her provides the answer. This human being has managed to confirm (at once) and destroy the urban legend of the infamous “Lesbian look”. She wears the Plaid, the converse, the vans, the snapback and the suit, and man, she wears them like James Bond wears his, with disdain.

So, the key to lesbian or let’s put it as queer style is not the type of clothing at all rather the sureness of her hunched stance and steely-eyed yet erratic confidence. We as gay or queer identifying beings have done exhaustive research on how to spot our own from among the mob of heterosexuals, and so have gained ample wisdom and understanding to discern the truth that gayness comes in all kinds of variation, intensity, and attire.

Now we have a sea of queer identifying persons to draw inspiration from when it comes to shaping our unique style. Be it Cara Delevingne of the eyebrow fame with her sporty chic strength or Portia de Rossi of the DeGeneres fame with her classically feminine approach. Amber Heard is another woman sharply dressed in heels and mostly in reds or whites (maybe they wear other colours too, I’m not an authority) and of course our very dear sweet Ellen Page, the maple leaf on the Canadian flag, the jewel in the Canadian crown of lesbians, with her tower of beanies, her mountain of slouchy jeans and her fountain of converses. These are a few household names of queer people to whom we can go from the comforts of our homes or closets via our rather moody and hard to please Internet no matter how much money we throw at it.

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