It was a cold February afternoon when I first met The Girl. Three months later, my then husband & I decided to end what was left of our very unhappy marriage.
Those three months and several months that followed were the months that showed me what I was made of. I had several choices – I could stay unhappily married while secretly having a relationship with The Girl. I could get divorced but choose not to pursue my relationship with The Girl. I could get divorced, have a relationship with The Girl but never tell a soul, especially not my parents.
In the end, I chose to get divorced, I chose to let true love into my life, I chose to live my life with pride and dignity by coming out to my parents.
I did not make these choices easily. Most of them I made because I knew that any other choice would mean a life not worth living. But what really helped me through these times was a community of friends. Friends who supported me, my grief at the divorce (unhappy as my marriage was, I had known & loved my ex for many years.), my fear of coming out. Of course it also helped that I had a very very very patient partner who tolerated my self-loathing homophobic attitude.
And when I was past the worst phase of fear and confusion & had come out on the other side, I rued the lack of a space & community where I could read about others who had the same struggles as I had. Others with conservative South Asian parents who just could not fathom the meaning of their child being gay.
And so Gaysi Family was born. MJ, who I met through Ruswa, and I both agreed about wanting to set up a space that we so craved.
I cannot even remember how many times I’ve read posts here by different people and have held back tears because I’ve felt the same pain or nodded vigorously in agreement because I’ve lived the same scenario. What’s amazing is that while we started this blog to help others find a community – I have found a community here that has enriched and enlightened me more than I could have ever imagined.
And now with Writers Bloc (THANK YOU RUSWA!) – my cup runneth over.
Gaysi family is now a blog with a life of it’s own. We have several authors, many supporters and many more readers. I like to believe that MJ & I could disappear, but the community we started will live on.
In all this chest thumping, I would be leaving out a big fat detail if I didn’t mention how much MJ means to me & to this blog. She is the burning force that comes up with ideas & implements them. She’s the one who nags me to get things done. She’s the one who sends me to-do lists & then checks on whether I’ve done any of it & then patiently resends them when I haven’t done them. She’s the one who gets T-shirts printed, seeks out authors to interview, schedules posts to be published. All of this while doing her day job & being a total gaysi casanova.
MJ, thank you.
