I have no doubt that the moment I laid eyes on you; I felt a never-before experienced connection – a connection over which I had absolutely no control. It was magical and unbelievable. The passionate wind that touched my body through my loose T-shirt there, made me feel the vibes very clearly. That evening when you were driving me to drop me off to the metro station, I wanted the time to stop and everything else to come to a standstill. I would have just loved to drive along with you to a whole different planet – you know the ones that are yet undiscovered so that no man-made devices/ satellites could have disturbed us. The way you said “Haan Ji” that night when we started talking over the phone, my heart skipped a beat – was almost ready to come out of its chamber. The sweetness coated with so much of grace that bubbles up and seems to overflow, when you smile, I wish I had some vessel to collect it and preserve it for a lifetime. I wish I could just sit on that half-moon, which illuminates your balcony and room, just to get to see you fall asleep, every night. I just want to lie beside you, holding your soft hands from dusk till dawn, while listening to the songs of your choice as well as mine, with the same pair of earphones. If I could, I would place my palms under your feet at each and every step you take so as to shield you from any obstacles in your path.
When my words hinted at some of these feelings, you said, “How can you “like” someone so much so soon”, and I don’t disagree. It is more than mere “liking or an attraction”. This I say because with every passing day, your love grows stronger on me. The more I withdraw myself away from you, the closer the bond with you becomes. It feels like being in a trance – on some days it has been difficult to even distinguish between when I am awake versus when asleep – you see the lines between dreaming and waking up has already become so blurry for me. The butterflies I feel in my stomach, upon seeing you or your pictures, are now flying all over my thoracic cavity. This restlessness is often complemented by the solace you provide to my soul. You are like the warm sunshine of cold winter mornings.
I don’t say that I am perfect but I would love you with all my heart and soul, all my life. I can only promise that from this moment onwards, there won’t be a single problem that you will have to face alone. I will stand by you- now and forever. I don’t want much – I just want to walk behind you, with your hands holding mine. I know life is not easy but will you let me share your fears and worries, my love? Will you, give it a chance to get to know me – with all my imperfections and purity? Will you let me kiss you and heal your heart of all the pain that has ever been inflicted upon it by this world? Will you allow me to care for you, love and support you- in all the ways possible and beyond? You say that your heart has become “emotion-less” and doesn’t do anything other than pumping blood. I say take mine and that will be sufficient for our love. I have no doubt that I was born to love you. But will you listen to what my heart is saying behind these feeble words of mine? Will you let me walk behind you in this birth? I know that you have kept the doors to your heart “shut”. However, that wouldn’t stop me from standing right outside that door-quietly and patiently waiting for it to open someday, without further knocking it. I give you my lifetime to think and judge. Will you accept that, my love?
