Based on that sole piece of advice, I asked around, read more to find the truth of the matter and just like that, an article published on the Forbes website last year caught my attention which reported that fewer gay men choose to opt a STEM degree than heterosexual men. My focus quickly turned towards my own experiences and I started pondering deeply over situations that I faced as a homosexual individual in the STEM community and here’s my story.
Towards the end of 2020, my partner Sugith and I decided to get into a civil partnership and I wanted my parents to be in the UK to experience the ceremony. After all, as their son I love them, and I had to believe they love me too. They arrived in the UK on 8th December, 2020. My parents made a point to say that they would be visiting the UK for my happiness, as long as I did not tell anyone about my sexuality and what I was doing, apart from my friends in the UK.
Yet, it was my first time hearing about an intersex person that wasn’t one of the two ‘disorders’ in our Biology textbook. It was my first time seeing the idea of someone having XY chromosomes but presenting physically in line with society’s notion of a cis-woman.
When I kissed her, she didn’t feel any different? It didn’t feel like I was kissing a girl, not a boy.
A spate of petitions have drenched the halls of various Higher Courts of our country. They carry within them hope for change, but also elicit other peculiar emotions within. This portentous event promises a plethora of possibilities, but not all of them seem good. If parts of the community do get the right to marry, what then? There’s relief, but there’s also fear.
To me, neuroqueer does not have a fixed definition. It’s not what you are, but what you do. It is how who you are expresses itself (or doesn’t) in your everyday life; it is a verb, rather than a noun or adjective.
The description of the short film mentions ‘daring’ and ‘Islamic state’ - apart from the general sexual awakening arc of the story - and these two points become important takeaways for the audience after they have seen the film.
After a lot of research and self-exploration, I finally accepted myself the way I am and that was the day the real battle started. I had to face a lot of questions regarding my appearance from my so-called relatives and neighbors.
I’d be lying if I said I was one of these people – because I had everything. A loving group of friends, with whom I could spill my entire heart and more, teachers who made sure the bridge we walked was steady and strong.
We move on, leave people behind
Yet; the closet,
does not forget
and holds the power
to unexpectedly remind
I lie down on my bed,
I lie down on my bed & look at the ceiling-
And I think how all of my family members deserve to get awarded
Because of their brilliant acting skills.
Every Valentine’s Day gig I’m offered, I’m performing along with a cis-man because the hotel wanted a “boy-girl duet” to up their romance quota. This triggers bouts of dysphoria because my voice is what puts me in the “girl” category in such gigs. While being a transman is a part of my identity, being a musician is an even bigger part.
As the months passed, I was running out of reasons to convince my brain that I was heterosexual. The only straw I was holding on to was that I knew for sure I’d been attracted to boys. I knew I liked them, in the way that the movies told me I was supposed to. But I didn’t know how to tell the difference between really wanting to be friends with a girl and being attracted to her.
SHE — taught me love, moreover made me realize my true self more than anybody ever could. She offered me her friendship and I wanted to offer her all my love and we both met in the middle ground like dawn before the night crept in.
Gehu. Ge hu. Ge hu. Gay hu! Gay hu! Gay hu! That is the story of how I became gay, and, no, I didn't shit my pants when I realised it.
She describes her ordeal of being presumed as a cishet writer that profited off of queer stories. Her personal life was scrutinized after Love, Simon released in 2018, based on her book, and became the first gay teen film to be released by a major Hollywood studio.
What I remember is for days, weeks after that, I feared that in my sleep I would be sent away to some freaky conversion camp or something. It got better over some time. But after a few months, the news was filled with reports of a bisexual girl in India who committed suicide after she ran away from a conversion camp her family forcibly sent her to after she came out to them.
It is a new morning.
You know you will have to do this over and over and over.
Everytime, you get a little bit stronger. Not because it gets easy, but because you know the
battleground so well.
The teasing started, and that was followed by bullying. Things got worse. I changed schools hoping that the problem would vanish but it seems like the problem was never attached to the school, it was attached to me.
Puberty hit at 13. I began noticing boys. I learnt about the male and female sex organs and how babies were born. I also continued looking at the athletic girls with flat chests and pixie cut. When you are young, you don’t have the critical faculties to understand that stereotyping based on someone’s appearance is wrong. But something about these sporty girls was fascinating.