Archive for the tag Gender

Through The Vines

Starting off as empty branches

We are eager to smell sweet flowers.

So exciting, so treasured, so unique

They continually draw us apart from each other.

We refuse to hold …

The Difficult Daughter

“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” This quote made me giggle a little, even though I don’t think it was supposed to be funny, just because I can understand the sentiment - from my own perspective, at least.

Trans* Love Week

This is a really great event going on next week that I heard about through the Legalize Trans campaign!

Achicho! Am I a Queer TamBram?

So when I realised my Queerness was not going anywhere, I was shocked, ashamed and confused. It was intense because I was also ashamed of being a TamBram. ... it took me a whole decade to understand that being Queer and being TamBram can mutually exist.

Going Retro…

The truth is the more I read, the more I am convinced that straight, bi or flamingly gay, at the heart of it, all relationships are human and hence, essentially the same. We all play the same games, suffer the same insecurities, love the same jerks, endure the same heartbreaks, incur the same losses and celebrate the same victories.

A Call To Straight Desis

While our rates of suicide, homelessness, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, and assault are high we need straight desis to be aware and there for us. We need them to have it on their radar and to be speaking up for us. We need them to be brave too because we won’t always be strong enough.

The Nu(Q)ear Family

I find it funny how the conservative desis in my community look down on those that get pregnant by accident, get married too young, or elope. It was especially entertaining keeping my partner's "illegitimate child" a secret for three years for the sake of these desis. These conservative desis also look down on us gaysis, but on the other hand, we often don’t have the option of having children “by accident” or getting married “on a whim”.

Deconstructing Trans : A Primer And More

You turn around and see your girlfriend in pristine condition, her beautiful self. You don't remember past that moment last night... You move your hands down under and you feel a ridge. How the Fuck do you feel? Is it funny enough?

From Sambhaji Park To Q-Fest Pune 2010

Given the roaring success of Q-Fest Pune 2010, it would have been difficult to digest the fact that 10 years ago, being gay in Pune was almost equivalent to a life sans social interaction. With the renowned Sambhaji Garden at Deccan and unsavory loo-cruising, the only means of interaction with the queer community, it indeed was a sea change for many in Pune, to witness the metamorphosis.

Walking With Pride @ New Delhi

It was a jubilant warm November afternoon. More than 3000 colorful people, irrespective of their gender identity, participated in the march, and danced like crazy to the beats of ‘dhol’. Last year, I felt alienated amongst them but this time I felt like I belonged there. It felt right. Though I wonder if there is really a change in the perception. There were not many people wearing masks or veils. Many were open with big smiles to the shutter of the thousand cameras.

“Bisexual”

Here’s the deal. Yes, I’m bisexual. I don’t like the word (I greatly prefer “queer”), but I’ll use it for simplicity’s sake here.

The Demure Women of the Puranas

There is an interesting observation I notice in all these puranas. Let's take the example of Panchali's earlier life. The sage is uhm insatiable and he makes love to her in many "different" ways. What exactly does "different" mean here? I let my mind wander and see that what is probably considered as an unacceptable act, or viewed as a perversion by the society need not be deviant in the first place, or may be I am reading too much into the word. Even to the dhoti clad pundits eh.

Epiphany

I had an epiphany at 4am

While I was thinking about that special soul

Wondering what she would tell me to do

Imagining her response – To my dilemma

~…

November Pride Event Report

As was mentioned in the Pride schedule, last Monday was the first meeting of family and friends of LGBT people in Bangalore. It was moderated by Vinay and organised by Docsid, and we are all excited at the response at the meeting. The discussion was honest and far-ranging, and the end, the participants decided to continue these meetings and also act as a support group for other parents. Vinay and Docsid did a marvellous job in pulling this off! Below is the report - it is rather long, but worth reading in full.

Self-Hate : Part 2

As I have been juggling 5 different medications for my epilepsy I have been lifeless, friendless, and loveless. As I have stopped eating I have lost weight and I have been secretly excited about it. Who is this that is excited about being skinny again? I thought I was that fat-positive queer, feminist. Where has she gone?

Sex Ain’t Like The Movies!

I have read a bit of Sister Toldja’s rad sex column and sex advice but she mostly just compares black women’s sex lives to white women’s, and obviously that racial binary is not all-encompassing. So, as QC has mentioned before, us desis can get a little hush-hush when it comes to mas-tur-bay-shun. And I can personally attest to this because this lack of open-communication about sex within the desi community has definitely affected my sex life, especially with my experience with a woman. Plus, I didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 19, and maybe that is not shocking but my white friends definitely thought it was!

Stuck Like Glue

Now, I am not known as an affectionate person. Strangers have been warned by others not to attempt hugging me randomly. I kiss family. Sure, I hug friends. But these folks have been around for large chunks of my life and I truly love them. Since hugs are the new handshakes, I engage in some of that hogwash as well. However, I am a cuddler. You and me be canoodling?

A Lovely Mummy

I have noticed that straight desi girls and ladies, sometimes the ones who haven’t been through trials, often have weak relationships with their mothers or “just-for-show” relationships with their mothers. These friends often seem jealous of the fact that I am close to my mother. What they do not realize is that it took my mother a long time to come to understand me, her youngest daughter. It was a rickety journey after which she became my lovely little mummy.
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