As Alysha and Leah grew together and apart, their journeys became harder and rockier. Being two working moms (for their pets) and trying to make time (and space) for each other was taking a toll. In the midst of navigating toxic workplaces, and them living so far apart, they were always stretched thin and pressed for time. Even though Alysha’s heart was right there with Leah at all times, she just couldn’t help feeling absolutely helpless in times of need.
But every weekend without fail, irrespective of whatever happened that week, they would come home to each other. Late Saturday nights and lazy Sundays became their thing. Waking up to Leah’s face (+ Cookie’s tail) was the dream-life that Alysha never took for granted. She almost knew from the beginning that this was too good to be true for ever.
Time went by and all of Alysha’s dreams and bucket lists were all checked off one after the other. Sunday afternoons at the park with her girlfriend and her dog, celebrating birthdays, Diwali, Christmas, New Year, Onam and Valentine’s Day together, movie dates, cafe dates, cooking for each other, flowers, notes…She dreamt it and she got it. Leah leapt alongside Alysha from every single one of them to the next with love and grace. Making out in trial rooms, washrooms, stolen kisses in clubs, restaurants – you name it, they did it. But most importantly, wherever they went, whoever they were with, they always looked at each other with those heart eyes. To this date, Alysha considers it a weakness that her eyeballs could never shoot out lasers that screamed how much she loved her girlfriend. But on the plus side, her lips had plenty of words to compensate for that lack.
During the IPL season, they would coordinate schedules and be sure to watch matches of both their teams together. Their roast game, on days when their teams played against each other, was impeccable. It is quite easy to forget how much you love the other person when they are wearing your ‘enemy’ team’s jersey. On the release of any gay show, they would clear out the entire weekend to cuddle each other (and a stack of chips) and binge-watch all the episodes in one go. They were ‘all or nothing’ kinda gals, as you might have noticed. And more often than not, they leaned towards the ‘all’. All the love songs they could find, all the horror movies, and all their favourite food and places – they made their small infinity as large as it could be (The Fault In Our Stars fans get it).
But life happened, as it often does, and Leah had to move countries for work and soon Alysha would move countries too, for school. And even though their love story didn’t get a chance to write its own ending, they did everything in their power to make the middle as special as it could be.
In that spirit, it was time for our lover girls to take their first trip together (better late than never). They squeezed in a small trip to Goa in the middle of the 89853 parallel storms of their daily lives. To anyone who hasn’t had this experience yet, Alysha would say that strolling on the beach with your girlfriend during sunset is as good a reason to live for as any. There was infinite magic, love, and fun (and food) in those three days and two nights. It was ironically the happiest and saddest Alysha had ever been. “I love this too much and I cannot make time freeze right here forever.” She was too determined to relish every single minute of what was happening to be carried away by her thoughts, but this would haunt her after she was back home.
I would say that their days together being numbered made it all the more beautiful but that would be romanticising the immense pain that the separation brought on them. And even before that, something changed, something was different. You might not be able to point it out from the outside, but they knew. This ‘star-crossed’/’doomed to separate’ lovers kinda storyline plays out much better in the movies than IRL. But such is fate.
Alysha would have given literally anything to change the lines on her palms (she wasn’t a believer, just helpless and desperate) that had led to this. But fate had decided that her fairytale romance would have a swift ending at a scheduled time.
Being in different time zones now, Alysha and Leah would occasionally get on video calls, trying to encourage each other to do this ‘life’ thing. But in their hearts, they both felt robbed. Robbed by time, by destiny and by the universe.
It’s been a while, but every time she smiles, Alysha knows that she owes a part of it to Leah. The Leah who helped her come home to herself, who helped her find true joy in her own being and most importantly, the Leah who told her, repeatedly and with undeniable surety, that she was not too much.
Because of Leah, Alysha experienced a love she never thought she deserved, and she’s still not sure she did. She doesn’t still know what stars aligned for her to have something so utterly precious. She does know though that she would have fought heaven and earth to keep Leah. But unfortunately, she just couldn’t fight time and distance.
