Alysha was awestruck. Never taking a minute of this magic for granted, she was determined to savor every little moment of this delicious life. A life where she believed in herself, where she saw a happy person in the mirror, and above all, a life where she belonged, with someone.
From never being fully accepted for who she was, Alysha went to being celebrated and loved preciously. All of her million texts were answered, all of her calls promptly picked, and each of her kisses returned with as much longing, if not more.
If there was a paradise, Alysha was living in it. She felt freedom for the first time in her life – the kind that comes from someone having your back, no matter what. Leah was her rock. A steady beacon that guided her home.
Despite all this, her past life experiences lingered in the shadows; always making Alysha question whether she truly deserved all this. On the best days, she would soak in all of Leah’s love, but during the bad times, she just could not shake away her intrusive, questioning thoughts. But Leah was there, Leah would stay and Leah was consistent – all of the things that Alysha’s hurt heart needed, and then some.
Whenever Alysha came out of her “hole”, Leah would be standing there, standing sure, standing with a little more love than ever before.
Slowly but surely, Alysha began to feel at ease in a way that gave her infinite courage. During those months of her life, Alysha took five steps forward every week. Leah’s love was the fire that lit her soul. She felt like she had found herself, her sexuality, her wants, desires, everything.
If you haven’t guessed yet, Leah was Alysha’s first. Her first girlfriend, her first love, her first family, her first home. And while Alysha couldn’t be happier with her choice, this came with some difficulties.
Navigating the hard conversations, adjustments, big and small, was all uncharted territory for Alysha. It was mapped with love, but that’s not to say that it was easy for a moment. If anything, love made it infinitely difficult for a people-pleaser like Alysha to take up space. But she was set on doing this well. She knew she had waited so long, and found someone so perfect that she couldn’t let this be the reason for compromising on her needs as she had done in the past. Instead, with shaking hands, quivering lips, and teary eyes, Alysha learned little by little to say her piece, to offer enthusiastic yeses, hold space for the shame and guilt that often comes with being queer in our society, and above all, to know that Leah was on her team, no matter what.
The unease of unconditionality after having conditions on her existence her entire life, threw Alysha off more times than she could count. Slowly but surely, she learnt and continued to learn.
Slowly, she became an assertive, exacting girlfriend and Leah was always happy to oblige, even if it came with some sarcasm and healthy eye rolls. Such was their journey. Completely unexpected, absolutely novel, and heavily cheesy. Leah was the yin to Alysha’s yang, and they were both the chaos to each other’s calm!
They remained hungry for one another. Living and working in 2 different corners of a city like Bangalore meant that they never had nearly enough time together. Long commutes, traffic jams, and high auto fares were never in favour of our little lovebirds. But they were brave, and powered with gay audacity, they continued this “medium-distance” relationship. It wasn’t easy, and sometimes downright heartbreaking for one when the other was in pain (albeit often and far away), but it was all worth it for them.
The smiles on their faces, the wags, and purrs of their furbabies, made it all worth it. Through family drama, job changes, and friendship breakups – the world worked against them and they tried to keep each other going. Week after week, they would wait for those rare midweek holidays and those special days when one would pop up at another’s door for a sweet surprise.
Through life’s (rare) ups and all the downs, one thing that never changed was the way Leah would take Alysha’s breath away. Whether it was the first night they met, the 100th afternoon they had spent together, or the 20th time Leah had rung her doorbell, Alysha couldn’t stop grinning ear to ear whenever they were together.
