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On The Importance Of Queer Elders

Coming out as a lesbian in India, be it to yourself or to others, signifies the loss of a certain heteronormative script which governs the lives of most people. This script prescribes a certain timeline by which most lives are ruled, especially in India – marriage, children, in-laws, old age. To be queer in India is to realise that this script will never be your life. But even more significant than the loss of this script is the realisation that there are many things in life that you may never have – a lifelong companion, family, love or happiness. At least, this is what I believed.

Coming Out In The Middle Of A Pandemic

What happens when you come out to yourself in the middle of a pandemic? I am a 22-year-old cis-woman who spent most of her life invested in heterosexual relationships. Most of my dating life was 'easy' as I navigated through real-life or dating apps looking for people with similar interests as mine. As the heteronormative setup has it, it was never difficult for me to voice my choices or to confess to people I had a liking for.

The Handy Guide To Having Erotic Adventures…Safely

When we speak about ethical non-monogamy, people often assume that it is a riskier way of relating to one another than monogamy. On the contrary, it can be a liberating way of experiencing intimacy with the myriad folks you meet along the way of life. Each relationship develops its own pattern of bonding, sharing, and companionship, and is peppered with elements of friendship, romance, and sex in different measures. None of these relational experiences are comparable and each of them is cherished in its own right.

Journey Through A Queer Juvenescence

In a world where we are taught to be something, do something the moment we’re born, it becomes extremely hard to navigate through life while making sense of what’s being taught to us at the same time. And if you dare question

P.S. I Love My Body

Children in the school teased me and called me different names like Bauna (Lilliput), Maiki (Womanly), etc. There were lots of confusing changes in my body; each thing seemed different than before and distinct from each other. I was just sure of one thing: that I was a male and related to others of my sex, mentally as well as sexually.

Pink Flamingo, A Photo Series To Create Awareness On Pomosexuality

Sometimes these labels of sexuality caused me more stress and trauma. It led me to the idea of defining all my partnerships and prove time and again my position within the LGBTQIA+ community. My sexuality has been validated with my choices and redefining it with a label was something which was upsetting and deteriorating to my well-being and I believed that it's more than just a mere definition.

Educational Institutions Need To Be More Accommodating Of Disabled Students’ Accommodations

Personally, I’ve experienced problems with faculty because of my invisible disability. My disability advisor had never heard of my condition, so she had to Google it while I was explaining it to her. Even then, when I was approved for the accommodation to show up late to class, I was still locked out of class by a teacher. It was really painful and invalidating, and I ended up crying to my disability advisor.

Why Your Calvins Are Gay

If one doesn’t think life is a war and fashion your armor in the 21st century, some serious soul-searching needs to be done on their part. Used to oppress, fashion does hold the key to opening spaces for those who are cast out for not conforming to the norm (which is not “normal” per se, just more common!), just ask the likes of Calvin Klein, Gianni Versace and Giorgio Armani who monetized it.

The Pleasure’s All Ours!

Sex is a lot more than just two individuals’ organs (or reproduction, as cis-hets will have you believe); it’s a unity, it’s a blissful cycle of exchanging things like pleasure, power, satisfaction, appreciation. If look towards sex for a deeper meaning, it does give you an explanation to multiple powerful things.

Does Caring Too Deeply About Gay Rights Make You Gay?

Our obsession with ‘uncovering’ identity is frankly troubling. Even terrifying. We sit restless, wanting to uncover the truth about identity. There is an insistence that something lies beneath, lurking. The underbelly is scary and the surface is never the surface.

Dating And Navigating Through The Second Adolescence Of My Queer Life

If I had met any other queer person or had attended a talk or session in school around sexuality, that would have remarkably helped my self-esteem and confidence while growing up. My limited exposure to narratives of queer sexuality pushed my emotions into a never-ending internal turbulence; a turbulence unbearable for an adolescent person.

One Night ‘Talk’

There was something about her reassurance that soothed my distress. "Forgive me if I do anything wrong," I managed to blurt out. Smiling widely at my words, she answered, "Never met anyone like you before," she exclaimed, "but I guess I am lucky."

What Does Pride Look Like?

When you realise your boss only does off-the-record, early morning catch-ups with you alone as soon as he discovered you are the gay lead in a play. Off work, he continues to single-handedly use his position of power to intimidate and invalidate you, without ever mentioning your sexuality.

The 90s Made Me Gay

Another cartoon that sticks out to me from that time is Daria. Daria was a show released in 1997, and follows the life of cynical Daria Morgendorffer. Daria is raised in an upper class neighborhood where she feels as if she doesn’t fit in with her peers or family. I found myself relating to her cynical attitude - a cynical attitude that I had adopted for feeling like there was something wrong with me for having my ‘gay thoughts’. But, I also felt myself wanting to watch her more and more. Looking back on it, I’m not sure if it was fully a crush. I just wanted to hang out with someone beautiful who understood what it was like to feel separate from everyone else.

Dear Ex-Classmate

Everyone asks, “When did you know you were different?” No one asks, “When did you know you were in love?” I know. I remember the exact moment. Have you ever been hit by a truck? Or imagine, if you will, being fried so slowly that you believe you are getting a particularly intense tan until you see your skin falling off. Both very different images and sensation, and none anyone would ever associate with love. See how scared I am?

The Surprise Of Group Therapy

Walking into my first group session felt nerve wracking and started to bring anxiety; however, since I was not required to speak or share about myself, there was much less pressure and I could be in the background. Unlike graduate school, where you can’t really get by without talking to anyone, I went on for days without speaking to anyone during my group therapy sessions. I didn’t know what to say or the right thing to say, I didn’t know if there was a point even in sharing what I was going through to a group of strangers.

I Think It’s Time We Give Adam Lambert His Flowers Too

Since we’re in the age of reconsidering the treatment of Britney Spears - and now even Jessica Simpson - who received apologies and reassessed their legacies in public, I think it's time we give Adam Lambert his just due. It would be remiss not to examine how we treated the former American idol not so very long ago. Looking back, we owe Adam Lambert an apology.