It wasn’t just another day in Mumbai… there was something special in the air… the pink moon was rising… and as I was stepping into a party looking and feeling as gorgeous I ever have, there he stood in his lavender-pink suit.

I had seen him before… we had had very brief interactions multiple times, but I had never felt what I was feeling that night. This time was different. I was ready to receive him. But the question is… was he?

I saw him dance, ufff! That boy can dance, just like me! Even better I would say! He was the life of the party! Not that I was just ogling at him from afar, as the host I was just observing the merry-making, and boy was he having fun. So much fun that half his blazer turned a shade darker as it was drenched with sweat –  that’s how much he had danced. I loved it. Such a happy kiddo. I thought to myself.

The night ended with me dancing my heart out with my friends like there was no tomorrow.

But there was, and it was an exciting one.

The next morning, the magic of the pink moon was still afoot. I was going to an art gallery for the second time to accompany a friend as she really wanted to check out the exhibition. Little did I know that I would run into him.

What cosmic timing!

He was there with a friend…maybe a date… I didn’t care, I just knew I have to say something and so my mouth made a sound: “aaaaa”!

He turned around, smiling.

Me: Your blazer turned a whole new colour by the end of the night.

Him: Yeah! You guys are to blame. Such good music. It was so much fun.

Me: Yes! Bollywood is my jam!

Him: Same!

My friend and his friend were still there, standing next to us, saying something or laughing along, but I couldn’t see them, just him.

Me: Okay, enjoy the gallery.

Him: Yes! You too.

As I started walking away, my friend started teasing me because she could sense something between us and at that point I was poking her back for I too could sense something.

I was happy, a little bamboozled about what are the chances of running into someone twice like this. Fate, what are you upto now?

I was walking out with a giggle and I knew I must, in typical bollywood style, turn around one more time to see him. And so I did.

And there he was, looking right back at me through the glass door.

Our eyes locked, his face lighting me up… a face I had seen before but felt like I was seeing for the first time all over again. And there they were… sparkles… all around him. Sparkes!

And just like that, he became ‘the boy who sparkes’ beaming at me like shooting stars. But at this point, I also know better. I am very guarded about who to let in. Nobody is getting the key to my heart, because I melted it a long time ago. But guess what, no matter how great a lock is, there is always a greater lock-picker. And turns out, he was the best one yet.

As the evening crept in, I found myself feeling bored. I love getting bored okay, looking at the ceiling, thinking thoughts, it’s something I can do for hours by the way. But then as any person nowadays breaks their boredom, I picked up my phone, I’m pretty sure I wanted to Google something but instead opened Instagram out of habit, and there he was!

The boy who sparkles had just followed me!

Okay! Someone’s obsessed and searching for me online or maybe it’s time to accept that I’m just itsy-bitsy famous.

I open his profile and oh boy HE CAN REALLY DANCE! Not that I needed convincing. I saw his reels and he was dancing in most of them as well. Uff! Wish he posted more photos though, and the ones he did, I was like nah! These photos don’t do him justice. 

I quickly followed him back.

But how to break the silence? Who is going to break the silence?

I didn’t want to play all these gay-mes, so I commented on one of his reels which I found really funny!

I commented:

“Bahahahaaaaaaaa!!!! XD”

He comments back:

“I have a feeling that someone just found it a bit too relatable!”

Ahem! My turn! :

“Tell me more about your feelings XD ;)”

Dayum… That was peak flirting for me. Never have I been that outrageously out there.

He comments back:

“I’d prefer an in-person discussion about this lmao!”

An in-person discussion is precisely what you shall get sir!!!

“Friday 8 p.m. <secret shop name>. Come eat gol gappas with me?”

Is what I DM’d him.

He was down. Yay!!!! Let’s go!!! Never thought I would be doing this ever in my life and so here I am. Aaaaaa!!!! Excited and walking with springs beneath my feet.

But hold on, something happened. I don’t use emojis while texting someone new because trust me, I use the most random ass things and it can confuse people. Besides, I’m a terrible texter.  I can’t. I hate it. I find it the most annoying thing in the world. Like can you not make me think a thought and then type it as well and then wait for you to think your thoughts and type it. Don’t even get me started on misinterpreting the tone. Sigh. I’m tired. But here I am typing all this.

He texted “Am I special, is that why you’re using these old school emojis?” And I said all my friends get confused with my emojis most of the time so :p xD 😉 -_- is what I stick with.

I should have just said, “Yes, you are special. This is a date.” I thought it was implied. I never expressed that directly because maybe I was scared.

For I realised that I have built myself a pattern. Where any boy I have ever liked, I know I’m attracted to them. I know I want to be “physical,” but I feel ashamed or cheap to ask that, because that’s just not who I am. And I didn’t want the boy who sparkles to feel like I was just lusting over him like a horny rabbit, because I had a lot of love, care and respect to give.

But I didn’t know how to say those things back then, so I did what I knew best. Followed my pattern wherein I try to become friends first, then romanticize it, wait for the big moment, after a constant back and forth of feelings and realisation, a big reveal and boom we are lovers. That by the way has never happened and is utter fucking bullshit.

I hate these Bollywoodised and Hollywoodised narrations of love I have been fed and swallowed up during childhood, because no matter how you think you will love someone it never will be in the way you expect or want it to be. You just have to be wise enough to realise it when it’s in front of you.

Boy oh boy! Have I gone wrong. But before I bring you to the present as I type all this, I’ll tell you more. He assumed it was a friend-only hang, and started using the F(riendship) word. Infact, we both did, I got too comfy with it thinking let’s be friends first and my delusional pattern will prevail.

It did not.

Lesson learnt reader, just be direct. Or not actually, I have no regrets even though it might seem so at times.

After all,

“Jo hona hai ho ke rahega,

Jise khona ha, kho jayega,

Jo mera hai, woh mera hi rahega.”

I had an epic time with him!!! I bought him flowers! Felt so cute. I never thought I would be walking around with flowers I have bought for a boy! And turns out he too has never received flowers. Outrageous!!! I must deliver as many flowers as I can find in this entire world and put them before him, but I’m glad I got to be his first that way.

He showed up at the gol gappa shop, looking cute af! I could feel everyone around us thinking he’s my boyfriend, as they saw two boys laughing and giggling, something was at play for sure. He will deny that, but everyone who sees us together asks me, “are you two dating?” Because there’s chemistry. There’s actual chemistry! I feel it. People around us feel it, I’m sure his friends feel it too but the only thing that matters is… does he?

He was shocked to see me dressed up like a hermit though. I had to make sure he knows what I look like most of the days when I’m not a dolled-up diva. I took him to my fav lane in Bandra, and then to joggers park. It clicked. Every conversation flowed like water. Gosh! I have not spoken to a boy so much or about so much, ever!

We laughed so much that evening and I didn’t want the night to end. My friends were hanging out close by. So I took him there because they had to meet him! They absolutely loved him and secretly teased me. I was giggling, they were so happy for me for I found a heera of a boy.

We all went to my house later that night. The boy who sparkles really has a beautiful-intelligent mind. I love it! The way he articulates his words, the way he notices the world around him and talks to everyone, the way I feel seen and heard around him. Uff!!!

And can you believe it!! Of all things he has a corporate job. What! I’m not saying corporate people have a dead soul or something but hey, some of you guys somewhat do. 😛

But he is really changing my mind about that. He is creative, extravagant and has that boyish charm all the Taylor songs are about. I like him. I really like him. Can you tell?

My friends start to leave and I tell him you can stay for a while longer. Ahem ahem! Because you know in all the movies “we are supposed to kiss before the night ends!”

We don’t, we didn’t. I could tell he was a bit exhausted from all the socialising and at the cost of me missing out on my first proper-proper kiss with a boy I actually really like, I was willing to call it a night.

I walked him till his car, he leaned in with both his arms and hugged me.

I have not hugged a man like that in a decade. Like I always side hug, or give a breezy pat of a hug. Never with both arms circled around like vines on a pillar.

I was at peace. It was enough. This was enough. I know it was just a hug, but it meant everything to me. But how would he know that?

For people hug people all the time. How would he know how touch deprived my body has been? And what it meant to me. How would he know that him putting his arm on my shoulders in a room full of my friends will light up the little boy in me who felt like loneliness was his only friend. That him caressing my cheek in front of his friends on his birthday would make me feel infinitely special.

I sat in my room, staring at the ceiling that night, blushing. I feel so safe around him, like he can do no harm to me. Gentle. Soft yet strong. What a gorgeous gorgeous boy indeed!

That night I finally slept in the longest time. I don’t know why but I need to have a crush to sleep well. Someone to dream about, it used to be Chris Evans for the longest time, but tonight I was gonna sleep thinking about the beautiful night I had with him. Or so I thought.

I felt my first pinch of fear when I saw that he left the flowers I gave him in my house.

And as much as I love my brain, I hate it for what it is capable of thinking.

Was it the universe slapping me with a  metaphor of what was to unfold and how things were going to be?

Were those flowers my love for him and he left it in my room for me to give to myself?

I’ll tell you next time.

From The Boy Who Glitters