My FIRST vote! I voted with empathy, I hope you did too.
My first vote! I voted on the 20th of May, 2024 – along with all of Mumbai and other parts of Maharashtra, finally reclaiming my right as India’s citizen. A citizen of the supreme, “Mother of Democracy”. Quick sidetrack, I really think that countries are best not referred to as feminine or masculine! Especially, with all that has been going down with the wonderful, crowd favorite social construct: Gender, don’t you think it’s best that we don’t see the nation through a gendered lens. To avoid the dire consequences? Just a thought; let’s get back into the main track.
The Ginormous Reality Show I get to be a part of
I voted in Phase 5 of this ginormous stage show we all participate in every five years. I am one of 18 million new voters to join the stage show this year. A stage show of the “largest democracy”. The production of this stage show is increasingly veering into becoming a satirical farce. Each phase, like the acts in a Gujarati stage play, comes with whole new twists, turns and dramatic reveals. But I digress again *facepalm* The picture of me below, next to SRK’s, just about sums up how I felt on election day. I finally get to be a part of the fabled democratic process! I felt euphoric, even more than the day I got my Voter’s ID that was marked Female! On that day I voted as a citizen of this country in newer ways. It made me feel like I belong and am part of the nation and its people. Since that day, I am less likely to passively accept comments asking me to “Go back to Pakistan”. As a transgender person, transitioning and living my authentic gender expression has helped me appreciate each milestone, helping me feel affirmed for my humanity.
My “election journey” in certain ways is similar to others’, including Reshmi Biswas, a transgender voter from Kolkata who voted for the first time. Like her I spent countless hours poring over my voter identity card, its supporting documents, and application processes. It is worth noting that the Election Commission of India (ECI) first allowed transgender people to vote only in 1994 following a petition by transgender activist Shabnam Mausi. Yet in the 3 decades since, for countless transgender folks like Reshmi Biswas and others, getting to exercise the right has been an uphill battle.
Here, in an interesting way that reflects a different sort of privilege, my story differs from Reshmi’s and others. Yes, I did finally get #MyFirstVote, which is something most Indians get to take for granted – AND a right that has been denied to me twice before for seemingly no reason. I’ve been eligible to vote for the last two election cycles and simply wasn’t able to because my application, like so many other folks, wouldn’t go past the submission of documents to the Election Commission. So, for the 2014 and 2019 elections, I applied months in advance as a Heteronormative Muslim Man and never heard back beyond the acknowledgement of application. The way I am different from the others who didn’t get their voter ID this election, or disappeared from the voter list altogether, is that I applied as a transgender woman with my transgender ID. The history of transgender voting abilities seems to be changing – quite interestingly.
My Super Gender-Affirming Voter ID courtesy of ECI
Mr. Azhar was at the polling booth on election day and was beaming with a pleasant, wide smile. He is the officer from the Election Commission of India who managed my application. After submitting the application on the ECI website as I had done earlier, I forgot about the application, half expecting no reply. One day Mr. Azhar visited my address, verified it, sought the relevant documents, and collected them for submission. Most importantly, and this might be something he may not be aware of, under his guidance I was able to get marked as ‘female’ on the ID. I am grateful to him for all the work he did.
One of the first stories I ever did with the Gaysi Family is about traveling through the security check at an airport and the hurdles I faced involving IDs. This was back in October 2021, and was the first time that I had traveled while presenting as femme. This was a few weeks before I came out on my social media, and so my family, many friends, and others had no idea that I was expressing femme. I was in some ways incognito then, and had pulled off a weeklong Goa work-trip without anyone on my social media or in my family finding out I was now expressing femme even while traveling.
The caption that the editor wrote alongside was:
My First Flight Travelling Femme Ft. @rayyanmonkey
All the things that cis-people take for granted – the way they move through spaces nonchalantly, the manner in which they expect to be accepted as they are, wherever they go, the freedom of their expression of unbridled joy online and otherwise, knowing that they won’t be chided or policed.@rayyanmonkey really do be reclaiming all that joy for trans-bodies 🤗🤗🤗🌈
In the story I also spoke about the intense anxiety I felt as I approached the first security check, and how inadvertently, the person checking my I.D often calls a senior or their colleague to consult on my validity as a person. This has happened so many times that I have stopped shooting it, recording audios and rage-posting about it on my stories. Multiple airports have done it at security and multiple airlines have done it at their check-in point. Eventually I just began to accept it as part of my travel routine.
Also read: Gaysi Guide to Air Travel as a Genderqueer Person
This is the whole thing with expressing oneself as a transgender, non-binary, or gender expansive person. Many of us have ID cards that still show our pre-transition images and/or gender markers. This whole charade used to play out often to me: I’d hand my ID over, sweating nervously, and of course my hand shaking as I’d hand over the phone with the ticket. All the while hoping that the one Youtube video I watched titled, “Makeup for airport for transgender woman tutorial.” is going to deliver on this interaction.
As soon as I hand over the ticket and the ID and checker looks up, I take the phone gently and swiftly swipe over to my Transgender ID card, while also handing over my PAN card to them. Always the PAN card never the Aadhar or any other. PAN does not have a gender marker. But PAN card doesn’t always work. Sometimes they ask me for Aadhar. Now I’m trembling for sure, and also know that I am holding up the line; the people-pleaser in me is likely feeling attacked. I am sweating profusely. I hand over the Aadhar, and if the ID checker feels fine, they will wave me by, with the same bewildered face they have had on since being handed my ID. But if the ID checker expresses doubt, then I go into emergency panic and awkwardness mode. Usually, the next step is that the ID checker calls over their manager/ supervisor, and now the situation has so many more ways it will move towards, before resolution. I can feel absolutely every eye at the airport piercing right through me. Even if maybe all of 10 folks were looking at me, it feels like a thousand eyeballs. No one asks me to, but I move over to one side, so at least the line can continue moving.
These days though, all I do is whip out my Super Gender-Affirming Voter ID, courtesy of the ECI and hand it over to the ID checker as they begin to make that familiar grimace of gender-inspired confusion. That’s it. Just the Voter ID, and the checker is floored. No reaching for the phone to swipe over for the transgender ID or the genderless PAN Card, or trying to avoid the Aadhar. Just the all-powerful Voter ID and their hand waves me past the imaginary barrier into gender euphoria.
How to get a Female, Male or Transgender Marker on your Voter I.D as a Transgender and/or Non-binary, Hijra or Kinner identifying person?
A while ago, a handful of you who see my instagram stories and read my articles, saw that I went to the Aadhar office and applied for a change to the gender marker and photograph on the card. I ecstatically shared that the Aadhar office accepted my application and took my picture – looking all femme. Also, and most importantly, they handed me an acknowledgement form stating that they had accepted my application for a gender marker change to ‘female’.
This acknowledgement form is what Mr. Azhar asked me to acquire, when I applied for my Election ID card. Especially, if I wanted a ‘Female; gender marker on my Voter ID as my Aadhar card still had my pre-transition pictures and gender marker, as did all my other IDs. Which is why I had applied; thankfully it was accepted and I was handed the all-important acknowledgement form. I sent Mr. Azhar a copy and he submitted it. And that’s the story of how, less than a month after the submission of my Aadhar gender change acknowledgement on the 25th of January, I got my spanking new, all-powerful Voter ID.
Yet, it would maybe not surprise some of our transgender readers to know that it has been six months since I applied for it, and have yet to receive my updated Aadhar card with the femme picture they clicked, and the gender marker updated to ‘female’. When I had put those updates up on my stories, I recall that a transgender sister asked me if I got my Aadhar card, and to let her know if I did. Because she too applied and got the coveted acknowledgement form, but has not seen that updated card yet. However, I did vote as a transgender registered voter, and travel with relatively more ease everywhere, whipping out my all powerful Voter I.D.
India is not for beginners.
Just Wondering: How I finally got a Voter I.D on the third attempt, which was also the first time I applied as a Transgender person? And also in just two months of application?
The main reason that the election commission accepted my application is likely because of my valid Transgender ID Card. At the voting booth Mr. Azhar informed me that I am the only registered Transgender Voter in my polling booth area, which has a total number of 1100 folks. Wiki states, “Generally, fewer than 1% of the worldwide population are transgender, with figures ranging from <0.1% to 0.6%.” So is the math mathing?
I think not; when we have a total of 812 transgender registered voters in a city of 21,673,000 hoomans, that’s only about 0.003%. Yet even that number is freaking unprecedented in all of the city’s history. Never has there ever been an Indian election with as many registered transgender voters – 48,000. This is in fact the first election cycle since the Transgender ID cards began being handed out three years ago.
The thing is like Vinnie, a transgender person who is also living in my sub-district said, “Unfortunately I had to vote on my deadname. But I did vote.” Many transgender identifying folks may vote under deadname or using pre-transition gender identity cards. A good portion of the community just doesn’t register to vote, since they feel disenfranchised from the democracy and the party manifestos. In addition to this, there are a whole host of other factors affecting how these numbers play out on the map of Mumbai. Factors like income groups, class, caste and communal factors are also in effect.
Malad West tops the list of number of transgender voters in the city. The constituency accounts for 33% of transgender voters in Mumbai with a whopping 339 voters, making it the most number of transgender registered voters in a district. Like Prasun Choudhari reports for Mid-Day, “In a significant revelation ahead of elections, the Malad West Assembly constituency has emerged as a beacon of inclusivity, boasting the highest concentration of registered transgender voters”
An official from the Mumbai suburban district collector’s office observed, “The statistics shed light on the evolving landscape of political participation, particularly among marginalized communities. Malad West stands out as a symbol of progress and acceptance, showcasing a commendable commitment to ensuring that every voice is heard in the democratic process…with 79 per cent of the registered transgender voters in Mumbai calling this district their home.”
Also read: BJP’s Election Manifesto is just Tokenism – Here’s Why
What this official and also to some extent the Mid-Day reporter ignore are education, income, class, caste, communal and other factors that are in effect as well. Which is why a district like Byculla, with a large concentration of Muslim occupants and a known large concentration of different Hijra communities shows only 7 registered transgender voters. While Ghatkopar and Malad show such high numbers of registered voters.
The reason we finally have even this number of registered voters is because parties are trying to deliver on election promises made almost two cycles ago and the election commission has finally tried to deliver as per the Supreme Court’s directives basis the Transgender Persons Act 2019. One of the most essential demands from the community for almost as long as the movement has existed is the right to vote. In fact the National Portal of Transgender persons exists in part to ensure this constitutional right. As the ruling party scrambled to deliver on its promises, it also simultaneously made it seem like they aren’t doing these very things yet and will do it for the transgender community if they are elected?!
This article from just before the election after the release of the BJP Manifesto reports that “In a landmark move, Prime Minister Narendra Modi said on Sunday that the Bharatiya Janata Party has decided to bring the transgender community and senior citizens above 70 years of age, whether poor, middle class or upper middle class, under the ambit of Ayushman Bharat scheme.” Except this was already part of the Protection of Transgender Persons Act 2019, and was supposed to be put into immediate effect. Not only that but the center already used it as an electoral promise before the last state legislative election cycle. Which is why in 2022 YesWeExist and I did this collaborative piece. Where we elaborated that after our own investigation and contact with the National Portal of Transgender Persons, we realized that the erstwhile news stories about transgender persons being bought under the ambit of the Ayushman Bharat Scheme was an election ploy. Our investigation revealed that it was far from an initiation at that time. They were yet to set up the committee that would then deliberate about how to go about it.
This election is vital for the Indian LGBTQIA+ community!
A dark time we live in, where sectarian politics, communal hate, corrupt politicians and a biased media have seemingly not only thought of the electorate as ignorant, but also to a large extent been able to make us ignorant of the truth, while convincing us that to hate is patriotic. It’s why even within the transgender community, communalism is rearing its ugly head ever so frequently.
Laxmi Narayan Tripathi once said “My community has become too Islamic. I am bringing back Hinduism in such pomp and splendour,” in an interview with SCMP. Tripathi, enjoys a powerful influence within the community and in government policy circles. Her endorsement of the Ayodhya Ram temple where religion will once again serve as a tool for mobilizing voters – has long since sealed her position in the right to left binary of the political spectrum.
This Hindutva narrative that has been winning for the last decade is the reason there are queer “activists” like Ankit Bhuptani stating half truths like: “I know of a total of four surveys conducted on the LGBT community in India, with a focus on the election. All of them showed overwhelming support for the BJP by the community, with the most popular one being from @PlanetRomeo Yet, no LGBT news handles or portals covered it. I wonder why?”
In case youare confused by that let Ashish @mysticboy24 provide context and truth, “It is because LGBTQIA+ community doesn’t mean only gay cis-gendered people or mobile app-using population. 2 out of 4 surveys you are talking about had negligible or close to no representation of women and transgender folx. It’s important acknowledging the lacunae and not to saffron wash the rainbow.”
It’s why there are reports that at the Official Mumbai Queer Pride March folks were told to not allowed to chant, “Jai Bhim”, because Dr. Ambedkar and all of his teachings go against the hindutva narrative. This is where we are at today, there is a powerful and large portion of the Indian queer community that supports an authoritarian party, that actively restrains the remaining community’s pursuit of being recognised as full citizens. Ironically, it is this political right of the LGBTQIA+ community that I ought to thank for my swift voter ID.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cg6muRTIri8/?igsh=MTdoMDdkYXYyczJsbg==
I am both glad to be “A” transgender person on the list and sad to know there weren’t any other registered as transgender voters in my area. For my entire district, you can fit all of the registered transgender voters into just an omni van! Higher income, upper caste and class-concentration are some of the factors leading to this low number of registered transgender voters in the “affluent” part of Mumbai that I reside in. Similarly, the upper caste and high income concentration is probably why Vile Parle has 0 registered transgender voters.
While I took in the hot heatwave air, sweating it out with all other citizens voting this cycle, my intrusive thought for the day reared its head: ‘What if I hit the wrong symbol after all the memorizing?’ I waited in the same line as all the other 1100 voters of my polling booth would have to. My inclusion on the list was no “symbol of progress and acceptance“ for my area. All the other voters and persons present sure did let me know through their looks and whispers that my inclusion was no “beacon of inclusivity”, as most behaved as though they hadn’t seen someone like me at a polling booth ever. Through their behavior and reactions, they showed just how much of a milestone even 812 registered transgender voters in this city is. I actually overheard someone saying “yeh laug bhi vote karte?” (do these people also vote?)
When I did make it to the polling booth, as is still customary for any ID check, I was nervous AF. Sweating profusely (heatwave plus anxiety of being rejected) and a generally meek and confused demeanor, because it was the first time ever that I was to vote. I had used this ID to travel frequently and even flipped it out when a flattering bouncer asked for my ID. Yet I was nervous in the polling booth line, even more so after listening to the family behind me whispering about my dress. For their part, the polling booth officials also did the customary double-checking of my ID and consulting with their superior to ensure that my ID checks out.
She then gave me that wave that I had been craving for. I didn’t move and just froze for a bit. She waved again and the person she had consulted with reached out with the brush. I got that deep blue nail polish that I had been craving for since I was a child and learnt democracy in civic studies. I went into the booth. Trying to remember Faye D’souza’s instagram VVPAT voting guide. I pushed the button observing how my finger shivered. Glad the intrusive thought didn’t win that day. I stepped out of the polling booth and swaggered with the realization, re-entering the sunlight – that I am the first transgender person to vote from here. grateful to be a part of the democratic process finally and extremely grateful for my all powerful Voter ID card.
Last step after #MyFirstVote ?
Sitting on the couch silently wondering what my vote tells me about who I am today.
Actually, the real final last step after #MyFirstVote ?
Lying in bed, wondering silently about all that you have heard or read about the electoral manipulation, the EC’s silence, beaten voters, missing voters, delayed lists of voters and hijacked voting booths while the EC sleeps. After all the videos you have seen of people committing voter fraud while – and this entirely flummoxed me – shooting the evidence themselves and making it public all by themselves. Thinking about how the stage show metaphor this article uses no longer works. The Indian Election this edition was more like a Reality TV Show than a stage show. Complete with candidates that you can vote for. And then wondering whether your vote means anything at all or like all other reality shows the awareness is all too scripted. Right before falling asleep, just like the EC.
