Two desi girls, in Paris and in love—tell me a better way to spend Valentine’s Day! Like millions of people around the world who grew up watching Bollywood movies and listening to romantic music, my girlfriend and I very much believe in swoony moments and romantic gestures. But we also believe that these things don’t just happen—you have to MAKE them happen, on purpose. Rather than blindly believing in fate, we believe in putting in the effort to choose someone consciously and showing that through our actions. So, when we booked tickets to go to Paris on Valentine’s Day, we kind of wanted to make sure that we didn’t expect the City of Love to do the heavy lifting for us. After all, hordes of tourists would be looking for the same romantic experience that we were, so how could we just expect it to fall into our laps without us having to stand in long lines and wait our turn, unless we took some initiative? But I know that not everyone has the bandwidth for this, so here are some of my recommendations (also informed by some tips from a queer Parisian friend) to help you have a romantic queer getaway in Paris, no matter which month you visit in:

Skip Moulin Rouge, go for a Drag Cabaret: Moulin Rouge might have finally stopped the acts that violated the rights of animals, but the gaze of the show is still very much rooted in colonial ideals that exoticise cultures from the Global South. You will end up paying too much money to see cultural appropriation and limited ideas of beauty on stage if you opt for it. Instead, I recommend that you start searching at least a fortnight in advance to see which drag cabaret acts are on while you are in the city—a queer environment with actual fierceness, as well as French and international charm, makes for a much better time, and you will probably end up spending waaay less money to enjoy so much more!

Wear whatever the fuck you want: Along with being “the City of Love”, Paris is also the city of fashion, but to be very real with you, it was giving mid. Like, the Parisian idea of fashion seems to be very centered around monochromatic looks and “natural make-up” looks that my girlfriend and I honestly did not care for, and even in situations where we were dressed in much more colourful and characterful outfits than everyone else, absolutely no one cared. The thing is, the average person on the street might be adhering to arbitrary cishet rules about dressing, but the city in itself has so much creative energy that everyone seemed used to people expressing themselves and no one made us feel uncomfortable (but if you ever feel unsafe in any situation, please trust your gut and do what makes you feel comfortable).

Also read: Shopping Cart Filled With Queerness And Of Consumerism

Go to the museums and bookstores: Even if you are not usually an artsy or literature-loving person, I would recommend making an exception because Paris does have some amazing pieces, like a self-portrait by Frida Kahlo in the Centre Pompidou and many many queer sculptures in the Louvre. If you are not very fond of spending hours in the museum like me, you can always make a list of five things that you want to see and cover just those—but there is something about standing with your lover in front of a piece of art created by a queer artist centuries ago and knowing that we keep existing, loving, creating, and being absolutely phenomenal.

Also read: Featuring Aamir Rabbani: Vulnerability in Queer Art

Spend at least a full day in Le Marais: We are talking LGBTQ+ neighborhood, queer bars and cafes, and feeling relaxed and happy. Unlike some other European capitals like London, Paris does not wind up the fun at 12 am—this is definitely a city where many spots are open late at night, including queer clubs, of course! Another good thing is that Le Marais has a mix of bars that cater to the full community and venues that are specifically sapphic spaces as you can then opt to go wherever you feel most comfortable. Do check for opening days when you are travelling as some bars are closed during mid-week.

Also read: Gay (Cis) Men Parties In India: A Tussle Between Sexuality, Space, And Class

Go to Café de Flore: Don’t even think, just go. Visited by people like James Baldwin and Simone De Beauvoir in the past, you would imagine that the cafe gets away with serving mediocre food, because they know that their reputation alone will attract tons of customers, but their food is in fact great—their tea and pastries were amazing, and my girlfriend and I had a great time feeling fancy without injuring our wallets beyond reason. The cafe is actually open even past midnight, so you can always go there for a coffee after you’ve had your dinner date.

Learn flirty French phrases to whisper to each other during commutes: Lastly, please be warned that the Parisian public transport system is a bit chaotic, with train timings being a little *ahem* fluid and many journeys being super long. While reading or listening to music might seem like easy fixes to this, sometimes you want to keep connecting and making core memories while you are on a trip. While I am sure you will have thought of learning how to say “please” and “thank you” to speak to the locals, picking a few cute things like “Je t’adore” (“I adore you”) can add an extra spark to your romantic vacation!