Dating as a gay man in a city like Bombay is quite messy. Some are looking for love and some are looking for friendship, and there are others looking for other things. Finding someone who is looking for the same things as you is next to impossible. Personally, I found that my dating scenario was somehow the same as everyone and yet, different. Dating for me only began in my late 20s, as I was focused on being independent and didn’t want someone invading my space. I was quite against beginning a relationship in my teens and early 20s, but when you are growing old, you realize that you do need someone in your life. That feeling made me enter the dating scene in my late 20s.

I started using dating apps and found lots of people who were looking for genuine relationships. I spoke with a few of them, dated some and met them once or twice, but few stood out. Let’s start with a guy I met at Lower Parel at a gay party; there was an instant connection as we danced together and made out on the dance floor. Everything was going well and he was a tall, good-looking guy, and I was excited! So you can imagine my shock when I got to know that he was already in a relationship and was just looking for a random makeout session. It was probably just my second gay party and I didn’t get a memo about the random hookups and open relationships that occur in the community. It was an eye-opening moment for me. After all, I was naive and got to learn my lessons.

Moving on to another person who messed with my mind: he was a cute, tall, and handsome guy from Himachal Pradesh trying to make his mark in the film industry. I knew of the pahadi-folx as a soft-spoken, sweet people, but damn! He truly was such a gem of a person, always well-behaved and respectful. The first time we met was at one of my favorite places in town i.e. Marine Drive. We ended up talking for a long time, enjoying the cool breeze in the evening, the sun going down, the beautiful moon, the stars, and the waves thrashing against the shore. It felt like the most romantic place for me and we kissed too. We met a few more times, but he didn’t feel what I felt for him, and texted me one day that he didn’t feel love for me. In the end, we decided that it was better to move on and keep minimal contact with each other. It didn’t break my heart, but I was surely feeling down afterwards.

There were some people in-between whom I met once only. They only liked going on dates, and wanted people to spend money on them. They want their dates to take them out to expensive restaurants, buy gifts for them, and take them on vacations. They wanted me to be their sugar daddy, which I was quite shocked to learn, but also found quite hilarious. To be honest, when you get old, you know what kind of people you are dealing with, and you can sense it from the first meeting. I am glad that I started dating later than the norm, because it helped me understand what kind of person I am and also how other people are.

Now, let’s move on to another person who I felt might be my future husband (LOL). Goes without saying, but he was a cute, good-looking guy working in the media. We met through a mutual friend and hit it off immediately. There was an instant connection. We met many times and I even went to his place, but we didn’t do anything other than kiss each other. He was quite funny and sang too. There was only one weird thing about him, he would not reply for days, and out of nowhere he would suddenly text me or call me. I wanted to take it slowly with him, but I was wrong. One day, he messaged me and said he was dating someone and they were going out together for a vacation. I was hurt but I said that I was happy for him.

My dating scene has taken a break for the time being, as I want to focus on other things. But, I am still trying to find my man. I know my man is out there who like me, is dating the wrong individuals. As a hopeless romantic who daydreams about romantic adventures, I’m confident that it will surely become a reality.