Last year I didn’t make any resolutions; I didn’t think I would keep them. This year I have more faith in myself and so I’ve made four so far. One of them is to come out to my parents.
I’ve read that when you make a resolution you should make it very specific. So don’t just say “I will lose 20 kilos”. Instead you’re meant to say, “I will lose 20 kilos by exercising at least thrice a week, for 20 minutes each time.”
I conveniently let this rule escape me and had this vague notion of coming out to my parents sometime this year. It was all comfortably vague and ambiguous. Then I had a reality check and wondered what I was waiting for. I now need to set a target date and just do it.
Good lord! It’s super scary just thinking about it. I get a rush of adrenaline filled fear and feel light headed. You straight people have NO idea how easy your lives are. I hate you all.
Anyway, I just had a conversation on chat with my cousins son who is about 10 years younger than I am. I am out to this cousin (his mom) and had also mentioned to him in passing about being in love with a woman. We never really talked about it much and from his nonchalant reaction I assumed he thought I was joking.
Today we were talking about love and I said I was very happy in love and I asked him if he had thought I was joking when I sorta told him I was gay. He said he didn’t think I was joking and believed me.
“Does it make you uncomfortable?”, I asked.
“Why would it?! It’s the same you!”, he responded.
Awww, my sweet little baby nephew loves me and that gives me more courage.
I told him I was thinking of coming out to my parents and he gave me a nice little pep talk on how it would be ok and that it would be hard but they’d love me and accept me anyway. My little bachha nephew has grown up.
I am going to force myself to set a date to out myself. This is EXACTLY how nervous I felt when I was to go skydiving. Except right now I’d rather skydive without a parachute than have the talk with my parents.
Did I mention how much I hate you straight people?
Cross posted at www.broombox.com