Dear parents of a gay child,
I recently told my parents that I am gay. It was, as you might expect, not fun and games – for them or for me. They said some pretty crazy things – all very politely, and I think it’s because there is not much out there in terms of information and support for desi parents who have an gay child.
So I’m thinking of writing a series of posts on what to do if (hai ram!) your child is gay. And like all good desis I am giving you unwarranted and unwanted gyaan.
Now, remember, I don’t have any professional credentials and my research is restricted to my own experiences and to the experiences of my gaysi friends. So sue me. (Actually please don’t.)
Also this advice might apply to not just parents, but also friends and family and perhaps just to us gaysis.
Watch out for our new FAQueer series.
Awesome idea – if in 15-20 years time my future child comes out – I’ll refer fondly back to these
Can we have also for those who have no idea how to come out of closet? I am sure I am not the only one (really hope so..)who are living a dual life, and when encountered with questions like-”So, what is your future plan?” we actually draw BLANK, and we just delay this question at max.
May be I am the only one who feels so.
Broom..just thanks!
DK – no you are not the only one living a dual life. I so know how it feels when people ask such questions and we have no answer -partly coz we suspect that they cannot really take our answer. Plus of course the awkwardness of feeling the ‘queer one out’.
So am imagining myself answering the question ‘So, what is your future plan?”
Me – err..first moving out, finding a job in Delhi/Mumbai/Bangalore and moving in with my girlfriend. Then focussing on immigrating to Canada/Holland/NZ. Eventually marrying my girlfriend and then like every couple having kids. (should I also throw in an idea about gender reassignment or will that be too much?
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I am really itching to try out this answer on some unsuspecting soul.
Now ladies, the best way to deal with that question is to tell people to mind their own business. That’s true whether you’re straight or gay.
@Silvara – You don’t need to read these FAQueers to be an open minded parent.
Broom – true, thats the best way to deal with it. And even though I have put that comment in a rather light note, it is really no laughing matter. It is not always easy for ‘straight’ people to come to terms with it-even though they may not want to hate you for it.
deeps, its not about convincing ‘others’, but ‘us’ only. When I first realised that I might not be a straight, I was desparate to find someone who could tell me what is going on with me. Ofourse, I failed to find anyone. And since that day, almost 9 years, it had been a single mind duel, needless to mention, interfered a lot in my professional and personal zones. It took me 9 years to realised that unless I accept myself as what I am (queer) I shall not be truly happy from inside. I dunno whats the next step.
I do believe if I had got some help that time, things could have been lot easier now for me, personaly.
You know what? I love this blog. I has helped me in random ways.
Can someone please anonymously send this to my parents in the mail please? lol