What is something that is determined by you and others, but is forever evolving?
Every day, we try to be a fraction of our authentic selves because that may give us a sense of realness, or we mask to get through the day. Identity is something that can be sacred and confusing, especially when it comes to the you in the bedroom. And that is what Monica Dhaka tried to portray in her work, Belonging & The Scene.
Growing up in a desi household, sex wasn’t even whispered. It was reduced to awkward hand gestures or to “it.” Even an “innocent” kissing scene on TV would send adults shifting uncomfortably, and as a child, you absorbed that unease.
However, there’s been progress in how sex is portrayed and spoken about on screen. How does that translate into everyday conversation? It still carries a heavy cloak of shame, the sense that it’s an act that must not be named. Through email, I got a chance to ask Monica Dhaka what her thoughts were on the existing conversations around sex and identity.
“Yes, I do believe conversations around sex and identity are slowly changing, especially amongst the younger generation, who are now more open, curious, and willing to question things. But I still feel there is a very strong culture of silence, especially in our country, because of our deep cultural beliefs, social conditioning, and lack of awareness. I’ll also point out that the rise of social media has been a real game-changer, giving people space to express themselves freely, find like-minded people, and feel less alone.”
Watching Belonging & The Scene felt like stepping into a different cultural rhythm: one that has a more open approach to topics related to sex but still carries its own contradictions and regressive undertones. Many still try to speak up about the harmful stereotypes that persist when it comes to kinks, BDSM, and sexual identity, and so much more. It was refreshing, even liberating, to see these conversations unfold without apology. The work didn’t just challenge the taboo; it challenged the discomfort etched into my bones by years of inherited shame.
In Belonging & The Scene, Monica features Momo, a member of the kink community, gently guiding viewers through the nuances of desire, questioning what separates a kink from a fetish, and how the kink community can foster a sense of belonging. In a world where conversations around sex remain limited and often uncomfortable, Monica’s work positions itself as a great way to probe thinking and conversation. It can be a starting point for rethinking how we explore and understand sexual identity, and the communities that support it. Sex and BDSM are often assumed to be purely about sexual desire, but for many people, across both allosexual and asexual experiences, they can also be spaces for emotional exploration and questioning social norms. It’s deeper than just physical thrills.
Monica Dhaka is a London-based Indian visual artist working with moving images. As an artist, she has worked on projects that aim to change people’s perspectives on negative stereotypes and stigma around difficult topics or lesser-known areas. Her style is intended to provoke thought rather than be didactic. Her objective is to encourage conversations by keeping human emotion and relatability at the heart of her work.
“With this work, I had two clear goals. First, I wanted to celebrate and empower the kink community by giving them a platform to share what they stand for. Second, I wanted the wider society, whether they know this world or are completely new to it, to have a fair and honest understanding of what this community is really about.”
What makes this work particularly compelling is its refusal to sensationalise kinks and fetishes. Rather than presenting kink as spectacle, Monica frames it as lived experience, ordinary, complex, and deeply human. By centring Momo’s voice, she allows audiences to see kink not as deviance, but as another possible facet of identity capable of fostering connection and community. The sincerity in Momo’s reflections and the quiet joy he expresses as he discusses his journey are sweet; you can’t help but be drawn in.
Ultimately, Belonging & The Scene is less about defining a single aspect, such as desire, and more about reframing the way we look at sex, BDSM, and kinks as a whole. It asks us to reconsider how communities are built around intimacy and expression, which can challenge stigma and offer acceptance. In doing so, it reminds us that sexual identity is not something to suppress or shame, but something that can turn into playful exploration.
Monica’s work succeeds not by providing answers, but by asking the right questions. And in that space of inquiry, it invites viewers to confront their assumptions and perhaps to find a sense of belonging in the conversation itself. This is only the first of Monica’s many brilliant pieces to probe the biases that still linger in the population’s conscious and subconscious mind palaces.
“For my next project, I have started speaking to people from the kink community in India, including Mumbai and Kolkata. Many people cannot openly speak about their kinks, identity, or who they really are because they fear being shamed, disowned, or even harmed. And I would not limit this only to kink. India is home to countless voices, from the kink community, transgender individuals, to the broader queer, LGBTQIA+ and non-binary spectrum. Yet all of them are still fighting for something that should be fundamental: to be represented, seen, respected, and allowed to belong.”
So, wanna watch Belonging & the scene? At the moment, Monica Dhaka’s work is unavailable on public platforms as it is touring different film festivals. For now, enjoy the trailer and trailer. Once Monica is done with festival submissions, her work will be added to her YouTube page. But if your curious mind can’t wait, you can DM her @monicadhaka on Instagram.
On that note, I’ll leave you with Monica’s genuine words, “With Belonging & the Scene, I wanted to celebrate and empower the kink community by giving them a platform to share what they stand for, and to show how safety, consent, trust, and aftercare are values that sit at the heart of their community.”
