Amma’s Pride (2024) is a short documentary directed, produced and co-edited by Shiva Krish. As understood in the documentary’s name, it’s about Srija through her Amma, Valli’s point of view. But a little context about Srija’s life:
P. Srija and B Arun Kumar got married in 2018 and wanted to register their marriage officially, but officials turned them away due to Sirja’s trans identity.
Shiva’s initial idea was to capture this historic moment for his state, Tamil Nadu. Srija eventually became the first transwoman in her state to be legally married. And so, in 2018, Shiva got in touch with Srija to seek permission to shoot a documentary about her life. It’s obvious that Srija and Arun both were a bit hesitant of Shiva, a complete stranger shooting their life when they were the most vulnerable.
Shiva: A New Family Member
Over the years, Shiva has gotten closer to the family and they opened up to him both on-camera and off-camera. Spending time with them, he realised that the primary foundation of their story, of their fight, starts with Valli being supportive. As bare minimum it sounds, Valli is a solid rock in their relationship. You can see every time she speaks that she wishes nothing but her daughters’ happiness, she clings onto hope for her, fights the world for her, and wakes up every morning returning love to the world, be it kittens, her son in law or the cows who occasionally stop by for a bite.
Srija and Arun faced a lot of ups and downs in their relationship throughout the course of filming, while we see at times them yearning to get back together, we can’t imagine what it actually felt like to fight the fight they fought not just as individuals but as a couple as well.
Shiva remained an observer in their environment, at times acting as a passive soundboard. Shiva also mentioned that there was a lot of untangling taking place behind the camera, which led me to question, would Srija and Arun have faced everything they went through if it wasn’t for their queerness?
It’s a simple question, but it’s a question that has the most obvious answer that can leave anyone feeling helpless.
Valli: An Ally & A Proud Mother
The film starts with a serene morning in Valli and Srija’s household with 4 kittens chilling, idli batter being churned and warm sunlight lighting their house up. We know right off the bat that Valli is truly proud to have Srija as her daughter, she’s talking about how Srija is the first person in her family to go to college.
At the Gaysi Family screening of the short documentary, I had the chance to speak to Shiva directly. I asked him how the idea to shoot it from the Amma’s perspective came to him, to which he explained that it was not his original intention to focus on Valli, but he realised after shooting them for over a year that Valli was the reason their story had come as far as it does. Srija and Arun both relied on Valli’s support. And it isn’t often that we get to see supportive parents represented in films about queer folx, they’re often in the background, but making Valli the main lens to understand Srija seemed essential to show as well.
Srija: Pride & Rock For Amma
It’s not that the entire film relies on showing us that Valli is the eternal mother who is holding Srija’s hand as she lives her life. But we can see how much Srija is an essential part of Valli’s identity as well. Srija has enabled Valli to find this side of herself that remains strong, yet gentle/
The most remarkable thing about Valli is that we learn she raised Srija and her brother as a single mother. We see that Valli stands by her daughter not just as a mother but as a woman in solidarity as well making sure she’s able to be financially independent, well read and doesn’t have to depend on Arun for anything. Unfortunately, this sort of solidarity is uncommon to find in most households, regardless of the daughter being trans or cis, globally where mothers would rather have their daughters be a part of the destructive system than stand up for themselves.
Amma’s Pride: Final Thoughts
The most obvious thought chasing me as I was watching the film was, “this wouldn’t be the case if the couple was cis-het.”
Srija is one of the only few transwomen in India who has been able to gather support from her family and have a partner who left his home for her. I think what the film reminds us, is not just how proud Vallis is but how easy and difficult it is to be a queer parent. Srija’s love is unconditional in ways that I hope everyone regardless of their identity is able to get.
As of now, Arun has returned to Srija and lives with Valli, and it’s least to say more or less a happy ending. Their struggles might continue for longer (as it is when it comes to queer couples). Srija and Arun have recently moved out of Valli’s house (at a short distance) and are planning to adopt soon!
We end the film on a note and assurance that Valli will always stand by not just Srija but stands as an example of how to unconditionally love your children!
To find out about Amma’s Pride screening updates, please check out their Instagram page @ammaspridefilm and website www.ammaspridefilm.com !!
