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Can’t Tell If Someone’s Mooching Of You? Read This!

“Moocher” – Someone who always asks for things and favours constantly, and will never leave you alone. They will ask for money, rides to places, for you to do simple tasks they could do easily but they think the whole world should cater to them; basically just a leech to everyone around them or a parasite to the community.

Okay, so based on the characteristics of a moocher you read above, any one with average intelligence should be able to recognise one easily right? Ideally yes, but when the moocher is in the guise of what you think is your true love, you may not be able to tell. I know because I have been mooched off of (by the same person) for not one, not two, but three years. Your friends do not want to upset you, so they will not stick their necks out and call your true love a moocher. We (of the gay community) have become so good at financial secrecy that our families never find out, so they never interfere. (And please, I am not spewing venom against my ex, because I am not really taking any names am I?) All of these make a perfect environment for the moocher to breed (notice how it sounds like ‘macharr’ or mosquito). I have tried to make a list for you based on my experience.

At the onset, it is likely that they approached you and fueled the relationship: if your love interest tries to get too close too soon, you must be a little wary.

Will prey on your poor self-image: Will show you down and even initiate projects to improve you.

You notice that there is no equity: You start paying the bills on dates early on. There is always some excuse.

Not so keen on sexual intimacy: Very keen on going out, partying, outdoor trips etc., where you pick up most of the bills.

Jobless, dependent on parents, or endless higher education courses: I have seen all these three types and even combinations of these.

Will go wherever you go: You start spending most amount of your free time with the moocher and your friend circle starts thinning.

The moocher will be happy to move in with you early on: This gives them all forms of access, free food, boarding and even access to your debit/credit cards.

The moocher will only care about his/her health: If you are feeling ill, they’ll just say that you are being paranoid.

They will make you do everything: While you might think you are the responsible person in the relationship, you will be doing most of the running around.

I have lost three years of my life to a moocher. Before I started the relationship, I had zero debt and ample savings, but by the end of it- I was in debt and all my savings had been cleaned out. It was my very first relationship and I found excuses for being with the moocher because there was that fear of loneliness. I know better know.

Sorry for deviating, but the most important trick to identify a moocher and I am sorry I saved it for the end: If you ask them to leave, they will not fight for the relationship like any other person in love should and if you are firm enough, they will leave immediately. All you have to do is ask. I was very late; I hope you don’t take that long.

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