With dating apps like Her, Hinge, Bumble and Tinder as the go-to choice for queer women–do we really need a specific hooking up app? This thought was inspired by an article published by Go Magazine about romanticising the idea of Grindr and if a sapphic equivalent should exist? The author seemed to be fascinated by the idea of the rush often expressed by queer men of being on Grindr and the social contract involved with hooking up through it.

Grind-her?

I did what any doomscrolling soul would do, went inspecting in the comment section hoping to get an understanding of how queer folks feel about this.

Now the article does start off with a rather wholesome encounter of the author coming across another lesbian couple out and about in the world like her and her wife. We all get excited spotting other lesbians, sapphics, WLW in the wild and thanks to their distinguishable “queer” style, it’s easy to catch each other in the wild. But there are some concerns that are quick to pull us out of this “romanticised vision”.

Trouble Shooting

Where this article unfortunately takes an uncomfortable turn–for a lack of better words–is the idea of wanting to connect with each other via a hookup app supremely chaotic? While the idea of romanticising Grindr doesn’t quite sit with me either, the idea of wanting instant connections is inherently human. However, at an age where any digital footprint is evidence and data that could be used against you–is it the most effective or the most harmful? My biggest worry about the idea boils down to this:

We’re so quick to barge off labels, but at the same time, quick to begin reducing ourselves to hyper-specific labels right down to caste and even religion. Especially in an Indian context where it could quickly become a IYKYK thing amongst urban queers or a “not my cup of tea” because some would want to distance themselves from a diverse pool. Whether we like to admit it or not, the Indian queer community does come with a lot more intersectional problems with regards to inclusion. A lot of urban spaces which can afford to access and use this imaginary hook up app, will inherently become either inaccessible in terms of practice for smaller towns. The risk which is hard for an urban queer like me to presume. I could theorize that it’s likely due to smaller towns having a smaller network of people, let alone queer networks, anonymity is not quite possible. One would still be open to exploring this idea in future, but within the framework of a hook-up only sapphic app…this remains concerning. Now, surely, on a more optimistic side, there’s a chance it could work and help in expanding the sapphic network in India. Maybe even allow bridge gaps between the community, but realistically, this doesn’t seem like an outcome.

What’s the verdict?

This idea attempts to solve a problem, but we’ve all been down several roads to know what problems it could cause in return as well. Socialising digitally is surely only easy on paper, in reality, we’ve all heard the horror tales from our fellow queers who do use Grindr. Whether it’s someone exposing a CEO or getting unsolicited images from complete strangers.

I don’t think cyber security let alone queer-cyber security is anywhere near its prime in terms of safety for us to endanger queer women who would technically face more repercussions in case things go south. Grindr, as stated in some of the comments above, already has multiple complaints against abusers, thieves and even fraudsters that have not been resolved. It’s not hard to determine if we really should be endangering more lives, when the app hasn’t managed to make its present audience feel safe. However, I’d be seated if Grindr was to refine and re-define some of their policies in order to not only fulfill sapphic connections but also safeguard its present demographic.