When I first fell in love with a woman, I was terrified. I felt completely alone and bewildered about what I was going through. I felt like there was nobody I could talk to. That if I ever told anyone what I was going through, they would judge me and think really poorly of me.
I scoured the internet for blogs or articles about others in a similar position to mine and every scrap of information I could find made me feel more normal and relieved. The one thing that has still been hard to find online is information about the gay desi community, or as we call it here: the gaysi community.
Almost all of the online support for the gay community is on non-desi sites.
It’s one thing to be gay in the Western world, where they are often light years ahead in terms of laws and social pressure. But being gay in a community that often even frowns on relationships outside the same caste is a whole different story. I come from a pretty liberal family. My parents are very well educated professionals and are from different parts of India. They are more spiritual than religious and never forced religion down my throat. And yet, I am still to come out to them. They seem like the kind of parents that would fully support a gay child. And yet, I keep postponing coming out to them. At one point of time I preferred killing myself to telling them about my relationship with the woman I love and am so happy with.
When I started blogging at ClosetConfessions, I got so many emails from women telling me how my story was exactly like their story. I got emails telling me that my blog had given them courage and hope.
So, this blog was born. I wanted to have a space where gaysis could come and share their stories, their triumphs and failures, their struggles and their dreams, their hopes and despair. And in doing so, give other gaysis a sliver of hope too.
But this blog is not just for gaysis. It’s for the non-gaysis who want to be better friends or better relatives to their gaysi friends and family members. It’s a place where we will, hopefully, demystify what it means to be a gaysi.